Saturday, December 29, 2012

2012 Year End Survey - I Need Your Vote!

I have been working on The Fat Lantern since January of 2012. It's the end of the year and I would love to get your feedback on what the best feature of the blog has been. The more feedback I get, the easier it is for me to focus on the things that all of you enjoy the most. So please vote and spread the word. Thank you for reading!


Friday, December 28, 2012

Caption Figures #40

"I hate yellow trees!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

The King of Action Figures Joins The Corps

This year, I received one of the greatest Christmas gifts of all time from my brother, derryX. Please join me as I welcome the newest member of The Fat Lantern Corps, Conan The Barbarian:

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

FAT Illustrations - The Christmas Edition

Merry Christmas!

Today, I have a couple of FAT Illustrations for you.

The first FAT Illustration comes from a friend of mine from high school, Jessica Kowalczik!

Super Santa
Thanks, Jessica! Superman has never looked so fat and jolly!

The next FAT Illustration comes from Deemar Daniel!

Apparently Cyclops ate Professor X for his chair
Thanks, Deemar! I encourage you to check out more from Deemar at his website.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Monday, December 24, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Atrociclaus Is Coming To Town

Today's FAT Illustration, for the first time ever, comes from ME, Dominick, The Fat Lantern!

He's making a list, and checking it twice, gonna find out who's angry or nice...

I want to wish you all the happiest of holidays. Thank you for reading, and thank you to those who have participated in FAT Illustrations so far. I appreciate you all.

Please, keep reading, keep up the FAT work, and keep telling your friends about the greatest blog in Space Sector 2814, The Fat Lantern!

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Calling All Artists Again - Help Save Christmas!

Happy Holidays to all. I hope you are enjoying Slobmas, the time prior to Christmas day when you eat like a slob for no reason other than that the food is in front of you.

I need help. Every week, I showcase a FAT Illustration drawn by one of the readers. I want to switch things up a little for Christmas. On Christmas day, I want to showcase FAT Illustrations that are Christmas-themed. Instead of posting one, I will display every illustration I get in the same post.

If you are an artist, just like to draw, or even don't like to draw and want to sketch something fun and funny, please send it to me on Twitter or Google +. Just draw a fat version of any comic book/video game/sci-fi character, put a holiday twist on it, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise). These illustrations do not need to be elaborate, as long as they get the idea across.

Here are some examples that I'm sure would look great: a fat Green Lantern Santa; a slob Robin reindeer; an obese Spider-man snowman.

But wait! There's more! For the first time ever, I will be participating in FAT Illustrations. On Christmas Eve morning, I will post an illustration drawn by me. It will be Christmas-themed, it will be geeky, and it will be FAT.

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Caption Figures #39

"So, Batista... put some damn clothes on!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Guitar Center Is Trying To Ruin Christmas

As a gamer, I resent this commercial:



"Thanks for not getting me that video game I asked for"? That's offensive to me. I grew up playing instruments and playing video games. I don't see why one has to be portrayed as better than the other.

There's room for everyone in this world. Except Guitar Center, and that is why I'm officially boycotting them.

That one's for you, fellow gamers.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Merry Christmas, You Italian Gavone Bastard

I am an Italian-American. My parents were born in Italy, I was born in the United States. Brooklyn, New York to be exact. That has little to do with this story, except for the fact that I don't want to be called out for making fun of Italians. I've lived this shit my whole life, I know how it is.

When I was a young boy, I would work at my father's Italian deli. I barely did anything when I started, but I would go in to get the hang of being at work. As I got older, I learned more and more techniques. Finally, when I was old enough to start slicing cold cuts, I began serving customers.

Every holiday season we geared up for the busiest time of the year. During the week of Christmas, lines would form out the door. Being an Italian deli in upstate New York, you can imagine the range of people that would come and shop. There were nice folk and there were assholes. This is the story about a real son of a bitch.

It was Christmas Eve of 2000 and I was 16 years old. We were so busy that I could hardly take a breath between customers. Every Christmas, I always wore a festive hat, usually a Santa hat. This year, I found a quirky, striped green and white elf hat, so I decided to wear that. I figured that the customers would find it amusing. I was right.

I walk in front of the deli counter to hand a woman a bag of food that I had just prepared when some guy from the back of the line yells to me "Hey! Your hat's green! What the hell kind of hat is that? It's Christmas!". Everyone in the store laughed, and that guy had his moment. But now, I have my moment.

This guy was some Italian jackoff from Brooklyn who came upstate and thought he was hot stuff shopping at an Italian deli. Have you ever seen Goodfellas? Pick any male from that movie and that's what this guy modeled his behavior on. He was a prime example of a gavone (a rude, Italian-American jerk). I was nice. I smiled. I did not spit in his food because I would never do that no matter how mad a customer made me. But I never forgot. Because that's what Italians do. They hold onto grudges like Thor holds onto his hammer.

That was a pretty annoying Christmas Eve. But don't worry. Years later, I chose a profession that's the furthest thing from customer service. And that guy chose a life that's the closest thing to being a piece of shit.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Green Lantern Corps #15: It's Tearing Me Apart

On December 12th, we saw the release of Green Lantern Corps #15, the next installment of the crossover "Rise of the Third Army". Or as I like to call it, "Rise of the Guy Gardner".

This issue was written by Peter J. Tomasi, illustrated by Fernando Pasarin and Scott Hanna, and published by DC Comics. At this point in the Green Lantern Corps story, Guy Gardner has resigned from the Green Lantern Corps. In issue #15, Guy deals with being a nobody now that he doesn't have his Corps to serve. It starts off with him throwing a temper tantrum and smashing his house up. Then, he goes rogue. And he really kicks some ass. This is very similar to the Guy Gardner: Reborn storyline. Except this issue ends with him getting arrested...by his sister!

I get it. Guy Gardner is a hot-head. He never lived up to his dad's expectations. His siblings are way more successful than him. He feels that he let down his Corps. He has a lot to be angry about. It's great. I love it!

There's one problem. We're in the middle of a major, multi-title crossover. Why are we this focused on Guy Gardner? We do get a sprinkling of the Rise of the Third Army story in this issue with John Stewart and Fatality discovering pieces of Mogo in space, and the Guardians getting into it with Salaak. But overall, this comic is completely centered around Guy Gardner.

I finished this comic feeling excited that they gave us such an in depth look into the world of Guy. Then I closed the comic, glanced at the cover, noticed the "Rise of the Third Army" logo, and immediately felt annoyed. I actually forgot that I was reading a crossover issue.

I think Rise of the Third Army needs to be more cohesive. Green Lantern Corps #15 is one of my favorite issues of Green Lantern Corps, but one of my least favorite issues of Rise of the Third Army. The Third Army story was pushed to the side to build up the Guy Gardner story. I think it's great, but I feel like I'm being distracted when I want to be drawn in. I don't feel like all of the different titles are connected.

Let's keep it together, DC. We need a little more glue in Rise of the Third Army. A little more glue and a lot more RISING OF THE THIRD ARMY.

Monday, December 17, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Super Size Me

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Adam the Comic Book Kid!


Thanks, Adam! Now this is how a superhero group eats!

You can check out more from Adam at his cool website.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Caption Figures #38

"Get that finger outta my face!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Wolverine Can't Heal Obesity

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Keith Frank!

"Hey! Who wants a kebob?"
Thanks, Keith! I think you said it best: "A healing factor doesn't mean you have great metabolism. Poor Wolvie, reduced to using claws as kebabs."

You can check out more from Keith on Twitter or at his website.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

Christmas to me is all about one thing: presents. I love presents. I love receiving them, I love giving them, and I love watching other people open them. Just thinking of the upcoming night filled with presents is making me want to jump up and down. And I'm 28. Imagine what I was like when I was 5.

Having a hard time? Well let me explain to you what I was like when I was 5.

It was 1989. It was a cold Christmas Eve, and all was calm. Except for the hyper Italians a.k.a. my family, so on second thought, things weren't that calm. In my house, Santa would make his appearance on Christmas Eve night after dinner. If you think about it, that was really nice of Santa to come and give us presents early so my parents wouldn't have to hear us scream and whine all night. Santa arrived, and my brother and I made out big time. We tore open our presents, and...


A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower! It's a toy vehicle that literally shoots toy pizzas! And I could put any of my Ninja Turtles action figures on the seat to drive it! How fun! Now, I want you to be aware something. Look at the box to the toy and please pay close attention to the fine print:


"Turtle Assault Vehicle With The Works!" AN ASSAULT VEHICLE. This item was a toy up until "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower". Then, it stopped being a toy and became AN ASSAULT VEHICLE.

Do you know how hard it is for a 5 year old with a battery operated plastic disc shooter to not shoot his brother? It's impossible. So as you have probably guessed, I shot the shit out of my brother derryX with those plastic pizzas. It was like an automatic weapon. You load a stack of 10 pizzas and let those pies fly.

It was immediately taken away by my parents and I wasn't allowed to play with it until I stopped using it as a weapon. But for a short period of time, that was the best Christmas ever.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Caption Figures #37

"Captain America's got nothin' on me!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Saga: The Dilemma

I've heard many great things about the Image comic book series Saga. By the time it entered my radar, the Volume One trade paperback, collecting issues #1-6, had just been released. I picked it up and enjoyed it, a lot. I didn't just like it, I loved it.

Here's the dilemma: do I wait for the Volume Two trade paperback or do I start subscribing to individual issues?

If I stick to collecting the trade paperbacks, I can have a nice Saga collection on my bookshelf. However, the trade paperbacks are published so long after the individual issues! Can I wait that long?

Ok so individual issues it is, right? Wrong. I have a problem. When I subscribe to a comic book series, I want (need) to go back and buy every issue prior to the issue that I start on. If I start on issue #7, I'm going to need to buy all of the back issues. This is a problem because it gets out of hand!

There was a Blue Beetle/Green Lantern: New Guardians crossover earlier this year. At the time, I wasn't subscribed to Blue Beetle. The crossover started on issue #9, so of course, I went out and bought issues #1-8 (which were more expensive than cover price, by the way). I know what you're thinking: "Hey Dominick, couldn't you just read some reviews?" No, I couldn't. Because I have a problem. I need to see every damn panel of a comic book series. Now I bet you're thinking "Hey! Yesterday, you wrote a whole blog post, full of aqua-puns, talking about a comic book series that you started at issue #14 and never read before that." Yeah, you're right. I hopped onto Aquaman at issue #14 and didn't know what the hell was going on.

Back to the issue at hand, what do I do about Saga: trade paperbacks or individual issues? Help!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Aquaman #14: Thoughts?

Anyone who has been reading DC Comics Justice League has seen previews for the Aquaman crossover "Throne of Atlantis". I want to start off by saying that I am not an Aquaman reader by any means. When it comes to Aquaman, I feel like a real FISH OUT OF WATER. But I have to say, I was intrigued.

I've heard great things about the current New 52 Aquaman series, written by Geoff Johns. Between that and my curiosity about the character, I was UP TO MY GILLS with excitement for the Aquaman/Justice League crossover. They really LURED me in. Finally, I couldn't take it. I was ready to read some Aquaman.

Wednesday, November 28th arrived and so did Aquaman #14! Prelude to "Throne of Atlantis"! I've been trying to SCALE back my reading to save some money, but I had to check this issue out. Skip forward to after I read it, and what a disappointment. I haven't followed Aquaman to this point, so for those of you who have, is there something that I missed? Maybe I was IN TOO DEEP, or maybe the comic is just boring. I'm not trying to ROCK THE BOAT. There's a certain sense of "I don't know what the hell I'm talking about", having never read Aquaman before this issue. But big, multi-title stories like this are partially geared toward people like me to try to introduce us to the character and REEL us in.

Aquaman, so far I'm not HOOKED.

If you have an opinion on Aquaman #14, please comment! Also, if you have a good aqua-pun, you can CAST them my way.

Monday, December 3, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Batman: Wide Load

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Nick Francis!

You're going to need a few more Robins.

Thanks, Nick! I always knew that when Batman eventually let himself go, he'd use Robin to pull his fat ass around.

You can check out more great art from Nick Francis here.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Caption Figures #36

"They forgot to fill the pool with water! *ouch*"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Best of Caption Figures #26-35!

Caption Figures is a weekly segment where I take pictures of my action figures in different positions, add captions, and ask you (the reader) to participate by writing your own captions. Previously, I've picked multiple favorites for each Caption Figure. I'm going to change things up a bit to introduce some competition. I'm going to pick my favorite caption for each Caption Figure. Let's get to it!

Caption Figures #26

"Remember, when the cameras start rolling, just vomit as much PEZ as possible."
Keith Frank: You see, this actually looks like you built this in a cave from a pile of scraps. 

Caption Figures #27

"I need to train harder if I'm going to get my own movie."
Erin Christopher: "See I told you my lightning bolt looked the same upside down...hey why are you all laughing?"

Caption Figures #29

"The Stunner! The Stunner! The Stunner!"

Blynch316: That'll teach ya for stealing another man's steveweisers!

Caption Figures #30




Halloween at the Hand household.

CMTomaso: "Just give me back my hat! You know darn well that it isn't exactly something I can just misplace."





Caption Figures #31


On your mark... get set... POSEDOWN!

Read Comic Books: Wait, brothers! I don't think this is how the Y.M.C.A goes...





Caption Figures #32


"Blue!? That doesn't fit the color scheme! Ahhhhhhhhh!" 

Chris Feeney: I call this my sexy pose.





Caption Figures #33


"Larfleeze... that thing weighs like 5 pounds. Easy does it."

Flodo Span: I don't think he's seen me. If I lie really still he might just walk on past...




Caption Figures #34

"Get back here with my wallet! That's my Fribble money!"

Adam Snape: GET BACK HERE WITH MY ARM!



Caption Figures #35


"Um, William? I don't think that's what they mean by 'Black Friday'. Let's go home."
Read Comic Books: I had to kill four men to buy this skull... can I get it gift wrapped?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Christmas Tree Sector 2814

I don't trust anyone who breaks into your house to eat cookies. That's why this year, I have protection:


Monday, November 26, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Batman's Diet Failure

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Jim Sabo!

In Alfred's defense, Batman didn't need to eat the whole box.

Thanks, Jim! This is what I imagine Batman to really be like.

You can check out more drawings from Jim Sabo at his art blog.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character, integrate The Fat Lantern into it somehow, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Caption Figures #35

"Um, William? I don't think that's what they mean by 'Black Friday'. Let's go home."
Please comment with your own captions! I'll choose my favorites and feature them in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

What Comic Are You Thankful For?

Happy Thanksgiving! As a slob, I absolutely love a holiday based around eating as much as you can, then waiting a few hours only to digest enough to be able to eat more.

But we're here for comics! So on this Thanksgiving, I ask you: Which comic book are you thankful for in 2012?

My Dark Horse Conan collection
I am thankful for Conan the Barbarian published by Dark Horse Comics. Back in 2003, I was a huge fan of the Dark Horse Conan series written by Kurt Busiek. That run contains some of my favorite comic book issues of all time. Over the years, I've had to drop certain titles for various reasons, mostly financial. Unfortunately, that included Conan.
Conan the Barbarian #1

Now that my comic subscription is in full force, I've had the opportunity to jump back onto the Dark Horse Conan series. Now it's written by Brian Wood and illustrated by Becky Cloonan. I'm really enjoying it and I'm thankful that Dark Horse still publishes a Conan comic because he is truly one of my favorite characters.

Please comment with the comic that you're thankful for this year!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Can't Help It, I Love It!

I don't like to take sides when it comes to comics (as previously discussed). These days, I'm pretty heavy into DC Comics. I also read some Dark HorseIDW, and whatever old trades I can get my hands on. Current Marvel isn't really on my radar at the moment, but I am a fan.

Iron Man by Adi Granov
Although I don't read any current titles published by Marvel, I can't help but love Iron Man. I haven't really read much and I wouldn't even know where to begin with the character, but I get pumped up every time I read an old Marvel trade featuring Iron Man, check out the latest Iron Man action figures, see the cover of an Iron Man comic, or watch Iron Man or The Avengers. I think he's one of the coolest superheroes ever. His attitude is so dickish and he can back up his arrogance with his armor, which has one of the coolest designs of any suit in comic book history. Not to mention the fact that it's red and yellow: my favorite colors! Hey, I was a huge Hulkamaniac growing up. What do you expect?
Iron Man in The Avengers

This leads me to today's topic: What superhero can you not help but love?

I want to hear from all of you readers about the superhero that no matter how hard you try to ignore, you just can't. Let's discuss!

Monday, November 19, 2012

FAT Illustrations - 50 Years of Spidey!

Today's FAT Illustration comes from ComicBookKidUK!

Is he shooting his web or signaling for more disco fries?

Thanks, ComicBookKidUK! You gave us a more realistic look into the life of Spider-man.

You can check out more from ComicBookKidUK at his website.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character, integrate The Fat Lantern into it somehow, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Caption Figures #34

"Get back here with my wallet! That's my Fribble money!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll choose my favorites and feature them in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Superman: Earth One Volume Two

I haven't been much of a Superman reader throughout the years, so I've recently been trying to catch up. From a Superman newbie's perspective, the Superman: Earth One series is a great starting point, explaining the origin while keeping it modern. From a life-long comic book reader's perspective, the Superman: Earth One series is a fantastic read with a captivating story and some of the best illustration I've ever seen.

Superman: Earth One Volume Two delivers the same great storytelling and action as Volume One. It was published by DC Comics on October 31, 2012, written by J. Michael Straczynski, and illustrated by Shane Davis and Sandra Hope.

The thing that stands out right off the bat is the art. It's stunning. Emotions really come through and when Superman is in action, you feel like you're right there with him. If you take out all of the words in the book, you'd be able to follow the story just buy looking at the characters.

In this volume, we see Lois Lane becoming more and more wary of Clark Kent. She really digs deep to try to find out who he is and where he came from. The poor guy gets his fancy new job as a reporter, and Lois won't get off his back. While Lois is keeping an eye on Clark, the government is keeping an eye on Superman. They want to find out exactly what he is and what he's capable of as soon as possible so that they know how to destroy him if he ever threatens earth.

Yikes! Boner Alert
We get to see Clark really start dealing with his identity. You can sense confusion in some of his choices throughout the book. At one point, Clark meets a nice young lady who becomes quite fond of him. So fond that they start to get close... real close. But wait! Superman's never been intimate with a woman. What would happen? Would he get a super boner? He has no idea what would happen at the moment of impact, so he has to deal with controlling himself. I enjoyed this aspect of the story because it's real and it's something that hasn't really been discussed.

In this story, Superman battles Parasite. Parasite is this guy named Raymond Maxwell Jensen who gets mutated and has to feed off of energy. Superman just so happens to be the greatest source of energy on earth, so this mutant sets his sights on him immediately.

Superman vs. Parasite
I liked Parasite as a villain in this story. The more energy he takes in, the larger he becomes. It's very intimidating to see him grow. However, the presence of green, zit-like blobs all over his body kind of made him a little soft to me. Every time I see Parasite I just want to punch the zits off of him. Have you ever just wanted to punch the zits off of someone? It's a crazy feeling.

I absolutely loved Superman: Earth One Volume Two. I read it in one sitting because it's so good. I highly recommend it and I think you're nuts if you pass on it. NUTS.

Monday, November 12, 2012

WFMU - The Greatest Radio Station on Earth


It's really special when you can be a part of something that gives you a great sense of community and enjoyment. These are the feelings I get when I think of the greatest radio station on earth, WFMU.

WFMU is a radio station based out of Jersey City, New Jersey. It's a listener supported, freeform radio station where the DJs have the freedom to play all types of music and talk about all sorts of topics.

Hurricane Sandy dealt a devastating blow to the east coast. Unfortunately, WFMU got hit hard. Not only did the hurricane physically hit them, forcing them off the air and costing them a great deal in damages, but it also put a stop to the WFMU record fair, a yearly, necessary fundraising event.

WFMU needs help. If you are a listener of WFMU, I urge you to pledge by clicking the banner at the top of this post to help keep the station afloat. If you are not a listener or have never heard of WFMU, I encourage you still to pledge, and check it out. You can stream it online at the WFMU website or tune your radio to 91.1/90.1 if you're in the area.

Where should you start? What should you listen to? It's quite simple and obvious. The Best Show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling. This show is so unbelievably funny, that I can't believe it! The show consists of some music to kick things off, followed by the host, Tom Scharpling, telling stories, talking to callers, interviewing great guests, and performing comedy bits with his buddy Jon Wurster. Tom is always joined by Mike, his associate producer and call screener who can be heard cackling in the background and cracking open a nice cold Tall Boy. If a caller starts giving Tom "the business", they get the "heave-ho", literally.

Me and Tom Scharpling
I am such a superfan of The Best Show and have been since 2007. I'm a proud FOT (a.k.a. Friend of Tom, a title given to fans of The Best Show) and I listen to past shows all day at work, every single day. Tom is one of the hardest working guys around and is extremely generous to his fans. I've met him on a few occasions and he's one of the nicest people ever. He's had an extremely positive influence on my writing, specifically the humor that I put into this blog.

I know that a lot of my readers are fans of Marvel comics. Well guess what... so is Tom! He loves Iron Fist. And, superstar Marvel writer Matt Fraction is a FOT and has called into The Best Show on many occasions.

The Best Show is on every Tuesday night from 9pm-12am EST. Each show is available in podcast format on itunes so I encourage all of you to subscribe. You can also check out archives of The Best Show.

And that's just one show! There are tons of other shows on WFMU that offer all sorts of music and personalities.

Please donate to WFMU and help them get back on their feet. You can give any amount but if you pledge $50 or more to The Best Show, you get Tom's awesome premium which is a Best Show hurricane recovery shirt designed by the artist Coop.

Anyone who donates as a result of reading this post will get a special mention on Twitter from yours truly! I know, WFMU has a lot better to offer, but I'm doing what I can here. Cut me some slack.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Secret Wars: Cap's Magic Shield

I recently read Marvel's Secret Wars for the first time. I enjoyed it. However, something about it didn't sit well with me...


As I understand it, Captain America couldn't fix his shield, except for the fact that he could. Hogwash!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The 2012 U.S. Presidential Election - VOTE!


Today is Election Day. As the creator and operator of this public forum, I feel it is my duty to discuss the 2012 United States Presidential Election, at least briefly. This is not CNN or FOX News. I realize that. This is The Fat Lantern: a blog about comics and nerdy stuff. So I'm going to present my opinions to you within that context.

The most important thing that you can and should do today is get out and vote, regardless of the political party you're affiliated with.

Earlier this year, we saw something amazing in mainstream comics. Earth 2, a comic book written by James Robinson and published by DC Comics, introduced Alan Scott (a.k.a. Green Lantern) as an openly gay man. In issue #2, Alan Scott asks his partner Sam to marry him. In comics, we're seeing a leveling of the playing field. I like that. In our world, things are far from level. I hate that we have to specify "homosexual rights" when in reality, someone's sexual preference is completely inconsequential, and we should all just have "human rights".

Within the past couple of years alone comics have been full of progressive ideas. The first Arab-American Green Lantern. The first African American Spider-man. Titles focused on women superheroes. To a lot of us, these things aren't even an issue. But the reality is that there are people out there who still hate and discriminate, and these people are running for president! We have to pay attention.

A number of factors are considered when choosing a political party. No one should tell you what to believe in. However, don't forget that we all live on earth. Don't vote for someone who is advocating dividing lines between human beings. Things are moving in the right direction.

In conclusion, don't vote for Mitt Romney. He's a real prick.

Monday, September 24, 2012

The Nintendo 64 Expansion Pak. Ugh.

You can call me many things. I'm a Green Lantern fanboy, a Jean-Claude Van Damme fanatic, a professional wrestling fan, and most importantly for this post, a retrogamer. Sure I try to keep up with the most current games, but there has been so much good stuff made, I just can't let go.

I am currently in the process of getting my Nintendo 64 set up again. This brings back a lot of great memories. However, all it takes is one bad memory and everything goes to shit. I can't look at a Nintendo 64 without being reminded of that... thing. The god damn expansion pak.

It was Christmas Eve. The year was 2000. I was 16 years young. I asked for The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask for Christmas. Arguably, the dumbest Zelda game of all time (argued by me, that is). But I digress.

My family has the tradition of opening up presents on Christmas Eve after dinner. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that me and my brother are impatient and probably tortured our parents when we were children. We finished dinner, went over to the Christmas Tree, and opened our presents. All I cared about was Zelda. I love Zelda. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the predecessor of Majora's Mask, was all I played for months. So I was ready to spend all Christmas Eve night and Christmas day playing some Zelda.


N64 expansion pak
I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't realize that Majora's Mask required the expansion pak, which was a RAM upgrade for the Nintendo 64. So there I was, Christmas Eve night, with a Zelda game that I couldn't play for the next 2 days! Stores weren't open on Christmas Day. What was I supposed to do? Be miserable. That's what. And that's what I did, for 12 years. I'm 28 now, and I'm still sick over it.

Nintendo, you've brought me so many years of fun and great memories and you continue to do so. But I will always hate your guts. 

Expansion pak. What a crock of shit.

Monday, September 17, 2012

FAT Illustrations - The Fat Daredevil

Today's FAT Illustration is another from our old friend blynch316!

Enhanced sense of smell makes it easier for him to find food. I'm jealous.
Thanks, blynch316! You're putting your iPad to good use. This is spectacular!

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character, integrate The Fat Lantern into it somehow, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Limited Edition Green Lantern Sinestro Bust

It has been advertised in DC Comics for months. Now, I am extremely happy to announce that it will be a part of my collectibles display forever. May I present to you, the Green Lantern Sinestro bust.


This sculpture is part of the Heroes of the DC Universe: Blackest Night bust line and was sculpted by James Shoop. It's about 6 inches tall, similar in size to the White Lantern Sinestro bust. It's an online exclusive so you can only find it at DC Entertainment. The statue is porcelain and hand-painted. I am truly in awe of the detail and how amazing this piece of art looks.


Green Lantern Thaal Sinestro of Space Sector 1417, welcome to The Fat Lantern Corps!