Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dishonorable Mention

When I was a young man, around 1990 in 1st grade, my elementary school held a pumpkin decorating contest. At the time, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were red hot. They couldn't be more popular. Being the little Ninja Turtles fanatic that I was, I decided to decorate a pumpkin as Michelangelo. I know, right? Isn't that a fantastic idea?

Here's what I did. I painted the entire pumpkin green. Then, I tied a Ninja Turtles mask that I had from Halloween onto it. The mask was basically this:
As a matter of fact, the mask I owned had a green plastic turtle snout attached to it. To finish it off, I drew eyes and a mouth on the pumpkin. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of my decorated pumpkin, but you can imagine how cool it looked.

The results of the pumpkin decorating contest were disappointing. I received an honorable mention. That's right. Six year old Dominick came up with the idea to turn a pumpkin into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, executed it, and only received an honorable mention.

OK, so maybe I'm being a sore loser. I did get an honorable mention, after all. There is only 1 problem. Everyone who wasn't 1st, 2nd, or 3rd got an honorable mention!

What's honorable about getting mentioned with the worst decorated pumpkin? Those jerks might as well have made an announcement stating "If you are not the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd winners, please throw away your pumpkin, smack yourself in the face, and get the hell out."

But you have to let things go.


  1. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA PUMPKINS sounds like a much better show than stupid killer tomatoes. I'd watch it.

  2. Keith - My pumpkin was so good that someone could have, and should have made a TV show out of it.

    derry - Our school kind of did suck.