Friday, November 30, 2012

Caption Figures #36

"They forgot to fill the pool with water! *ouch*"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Best of Caption Figures #26-35!

Caption Figures is a weekly segment where I take pictures of my action figures in different positions, add captions, and ask you (the reader) to participate by writing your own captions. Previously, I've picked multiple favorites for each Caption Figure. I'm going to change things up a bit to introduce some competition. I'm going to pick my favorite caption for each Caption Figure. Let's get to it!

Caption Figures #26

"Remember, when the cameras start rolling, just vomit as much PEZ as possible."
Keith Frank: You see, this actually looks like you built this in a cave from a pile of scraps. 

Caption Figures #27

"I need to train harder if I'm going to get my own movie."
Erin Christopher: "See I told you my lightning bolt looked the same upside down...hey why are you all laughing?"

Caption Figures #29

"The Stunner! The Stunner! The Stunner!"

Blynch316: That'll teach ya for stealing another man's steveweisers!

Caption Figures #30




Halloween at the Hand household.

CMTomaso: "Just give me back my hat! You know darn well that it isn't exactly something I can just misplace."





Caption Figures #31


On your mark... get set... POSEDOWN!

Read Comic Books: Wait, brothers! I don't think this is how the Y.M.C.A goes...





Caption Figures #32


"Blue!? That doesn't fit the color scheme! Ahhhhhhhhh!" 

Chris Feeney: I call this my sexy pose.





Caption Figures #33


"Larfleeze... that thing weighs like 5 pounds. Easy does it."

Flodo Span: I don't think he's seen me. If I lie really still he might just walk on past...




Caption Figures #34

"Get back here with my wallet! That's my Fribble money!"

Adam Snape: GET BACK HERE WITH MY ARM!



Caption Figures #35


"Um, William? I don't think that's what they mean by 'Black Friday'. Let's go home."
Read Comic Books: I had to kill four men to buy this skull... can I get it gift wrapped?

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Christmas Tree Sector 2814

I don't trust anyone who breaks into your house to eat cookies. That's why this year, I have protection:


Monday, November 26, 2012

FAT Illustrations - Batman's Diet Failure

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Jim Sabo!

In Alfred's defense, Batman didn't need to eat the whole box.

Thanks, Jim! This is what I imagine Batman to really be like.

You can check out more drawings from Jim Sabo at his art blog.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character, integrate The Fat Lantern into it somehow, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Caption Figures #35

"Um, William? I don't think that's what they mean by 'Black Friday'. Let's go home."
Please comment with your own captions! I'll choose my favorites and feature them in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

What Comic Are You Thankful For?

Happy Thanksgiving! As a slob, I absolutely love a holiday based around eating as much as you can, then waiting a few hours only to digest enough to be able to eat more.

But we're here for comics! So on this Thanksgiving, I ask you: Which comic book are you thankful for in 2012?

My Dark Horse Conan collection
I am thankful for Conan the Barbarian published by Dark Horse Comics. Back in 2003, I was a huge fan of the Dark Horse Conan series written by Kurt Busiek. That run contains some of my favorite comic book issues of all time. Over the years, I've had to drop certain titles for various reasons, mostly financial. Unfortunately, that included Conan.
Conan the Barbarian #1

Now that my comic subscription is in full force, I've had the opportunity to jump back onto the Dark Horse Conan series. Now it's written by Brian Wood and illustrated by Becky Cloonan. I'm really enjoying it and I'm thankful that Dark Horse still publishes a Conan comic because he is truly one of my favorite characters.

Please comment with the comic that you're thankful for this year!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Can't Help It, I Love It!

I don't like to take sides when it comes to comics (as previously discussed). These days, I'm pretty heavy into DC Comics. I also read some Dark HorseIDW, and whatever old trades I can get my hands on. Current Marvel isn't really on my radar at the moment, but I am a fan.

Iron Man by Adi Granov
Although I don't read any current titles published by Marvel, I can't help but love Iron Man. I haven't really read much and I wouldn't even know where to begin with the character, but I get pumped up every time I read an old Marvel trade featuring Iron Man, check out the latest Iron Man action figures, see the cover of an Iron Man comic, or watch Iron Man or The Avengers. I think he's one of the coolest superheroes ever. His attitude is so dickish and he can back up his arrogance with his armor, which has one of the coolest designs of any suit in comic book history. Not to mention the fact that it's red and yellow: my favorite colors! Hey, I was a huge Hulkamaniac growing up. What do you expect?
Iron Man in The Avengers

This leads me to today's topic: What superhero can you not help but love?

I want to hear from all of you readers about the superhero that no matter how hard you try to ignore, you just can't. Let's discuss!

Monday, November 19, 2012

FAT Illustrations - 50 Years of Spidey!

Today's FAT Illustration comes from ComicBookKidUK!

Is he shooting his web or signaling for more disco fries?

Thanks, ComicBookKidUK! You gave us a more realistic look into the life of Spider-man.

You can check out more from ComicBookKidUK at his website.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character, integrate The Fat Lantern into it somehow, and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Caption Figures #34

"Get back here with my wallet! That's my Fribble money!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll choose my favorites and feature them in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Superman: Earth One Volume Two

I haven't been much of a Superman reader throughout the years, so I've recently been trying to catch up. From a Superman newbie's perspective, the Superman: Earth One series is a great starting point, explaining the origin while keeping it modern. From a life-long comic book reader's perspective, the Superman: Earth One series is a fantastic read with a captivating story and some of the best illustration I've ever seen.

Superman: Earth One Volume Two delivers the same great storytelling and action as Volume One. It was published by DC Comics on October 31, 2012, written by J. Michael Straczynski, and illustrated by Shane Davis and Sandra Hope.

The thing that stands out right off the bat is the art. It's stunning. Emotions really come through and when Superman is in action, you feel like you're right there with him. If you take out all of the words in the book, you'd be able to follow the story just buy looking at the characters.

In this volume, we see Lois Lane becoming more and more wary of Clark Kent. She really digs deep to try to find out who he is and where he came from. The poor guy gets his fancy new job as a reporter, and Lois won't get off his back. While Lois is keeping an eye on Clark, the government is keeping an eye on Superman. They want to find out exactly what he is and what he's capable of as soon as possible so that they know how to destroy him if he ever threatens earth.

Yikes! Boner Alert
We get to see Clark really start dealing with his identity. You can sense confusion in some of his choices throughout the book. At one point, Clark meets a nice young lady who becomes quite fond of him. So fond that they start to get close... real close. But wait! Superman's never been intimate with a woman. What would happen? Would he get a super boner? He has no idea what would happen at the moment of impact, so he has to deal with controlling himself. I enjoyed this aspect of the story because it's real and it's something that hasn't really been discussed.

In this story, Superman battles Parasite. Parasite is this guy named Raymond Maxwell Jensen who gets mutated and has to feed off of energy. Superman just so happens to be the greatest source of energy on earth, so this mutant sets his sights on him immediately.

Superman vs. Parasite
I liked Parasite as a villain in this story. The more energy he takes in, the larger he becomes. It's very intimidating to see him grow. However, the presence of green, zit-like blobs all over his body kind of made him a little soft to me. Every time I see Parasite I just want to punch the zits off of him. Have you ever just wanted to punch the zits off of someone? It's a crazy feeling.

I absolutely loved Superman: Earth One Volume Two. I read it in one sitting because it's so good. I highly recommend it and I think you're nuts if you pass on it. NUTS.

Monday, November 12, 2012

WFMU - The Greatest Radio Station on Earth


It's really special when you can be a part of something that gives you a great sense of community and enjoyment. These are the feelings I get when I think of the greatest radio station on earth, WFMU.

WFMU is a radio station based out of Jersey City, New Jersey. It's a listener supported, freeform radio station where the DJs have the freedom to play all types of music and talk about all sorts of topics.

Hurricane Sandy dealt a devastating blow to the east coast. Unfortunately, WFMU got hit hard. Not only did the hurricane physically hit them, forcing them off the air and costing them a great deal in damages, but it also put a stop to the WFMU record fair, a yearly, necessary fundraising event.

WFMU needs help. If you are a listener of WFMU, I urge you to pledge by clicking the banner at the top of this post to help keep the station afloat. If you are not a listener or have never heard of WFMU, I encourage you still to pledge, and check it out. You can stream it online at the WFMU website or tune your radio to 91.1/90.1 if you're in the area.

Where should you start? What should you listen to? It's quite simple and obvious. The Best Show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling. This show is so unbelievably funny, that I can't believe it! The show consists of some music to kick things off, followed by the host, Tom Scharpling, telling stories, talking to callers, interviewing great guests, and performing comedy bits with his buddy Jon Wurster. Tom is always joined by Mike, his associate producer and call screener who can be heard cackling in the background and cracking open a nice cold Tall Boy. If a caller starts giving Tom "the business", they get the "heave-ho", literally.

Me and Tom Scharpling
I am such a superfan of The Best Show and have been since 2007. I'm a proud FOT (a.k.a. Friend of Tom, a title given to fans of The Best Show) and I listen to past shows all day at work, every single day. Tom is one of the hardest working guys around and is extremely generous to his fans. I've met him on a few occasions and he's one of the nicest people ever. He's had an extremely positive influence on my writing, specifically the humor that I put into this blog.

I know that a lot of my readers are fans of Marvel comics. Well guess what... so is Tom! He loves Iron Fist. And, superstar Marvel writer Matt Fraction is a FOT and has called into The Best Show on many occasions.

The Best Show is on every Tuesday night from 9pm-12am EST. Each show is available in podcast format on itunes so I encourage all of you to subscribe. You can also check out archives of The Best Show.

And that's just one show! There are tons of other shows on WFMU that offer all sorts of music and personalities.

Please donate to WFMU and help them get back on their feet. You can give any amount but if you pledge $50 or more to The Best Show, you get Tom's awesome premium which is a Best Show hurricane recovery shirt designed by the artist Coop.

Anyone who donates as a result of reading this post will get a special mention on Twitter from yours truly! I know, WFMU has a lot better to offer, but I'm doing what I can here. Cut me some slack.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Secret Wars: Cap's Magic Shield

I recently read Marvel's Secret Wars for the first time. I enjoyed it. However, something about it didn't sit well with me...


As I understand it, Captain America couldn't fix his shield, except for the fact that he could. Hogwash!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The 2012 U.S. Presidential Election - VOTE!


Today is Election Day. As the creator and operator of this public forum, I feel it is my duty to discuss the 2012 United States Presidential Election, at least briefly. This is not CNN or FOX News. I realize that. This is The Fat Lantern: a blog about comics and nerdy stuff. So I'm going to present my opinions to you within that context.

The most important thing that you can and should do today is get out and vote, regardless of the political party you're affiliated with.

Earlier this year, we saw something amazing in mainstream comics. Earth 2, a comic book written by James Robinson and published by DC Comics, introduced Alan Scott (a.k.a. Green Lantern) as an openly gay man. In issue #2, Alan Scott asks his partner Sam to marry him. In comics, we're seeing a leveling of the playing field. I like that. In our world, things are far from level. I hate that we have to specify "homosexual rights" when in reality, someone's sexual preference is completely inconsequential, and we should all just have "human rights".

Within the past couple of years alone comics have been full of progressive ideas. The first Arab-American Green Lantern. The first African American Spider-man. Titles focused on women superheroes. To a lot of us, these things aren't even an issue. But the reality is that there are people out there who still hate and discriminate, and these people are running for president! We have to pay attention.

A number of factors are considered when choosing a political party. No one should tell you what to believe in. However, don't forget that we all live on earth. Don't vote for someone who is advocating dividing lines between human beings. Things are moving in the right direction.

In conclusion, don't vote for Mitt Romney. He's a real prick.