Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2014 New Year's Resolutions

I'm not big on New Year's resolutions. I like to start the year fresh, but I never make a list of things I want to do. Well I'm trying something new this year. I would like to have something written out that I can refer back to later in the year. I'm going to spell out a list of things that I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year. Here are my New Year's resolutions for 2014!
  • Take control of my slob urges and get fit -This is probably the most popular New Year's resolution. I'm fully admitting right now that for the past month, I have sort of given up. I've been eating healthy where I can and exercising, but I definitely have adopted a "Whatever, it's the holidays" approach to eating. That ends in 2014. I'm going to continue enjoying delicious garbage food (Because I am The Fat Lantern), but in moderation. I would like to drop the weight I gained over the holidays plus more. A few months ago, I started DDP Yoga and I've been feeling great. It's an amazing workout and I actually enjoy it more than anything I do in the gym. I'm also planning on stepping up my cardio routine and running a 5K in the Spring. So look out for The Fit Fat Lantern in 2014.
  • Stop falling behind on comics so often - I don't know if it's the winter, the holidays, or just laziness, but I've been in a rut in terms of picking up my comics. I still read all of the good stuff I used to, but I go for weeks without picking up a lot more lately than I used to. I want to put a stop to that and continue to get my comics every week because I think I prefer reading gradually as opposed to having stacks to read every 3 or 4 weeks.
  • Watch Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania - These are two WWE pay-per-view events that I grew up watching and never missed until the past few years (I watched Wrestlemania XXVIII in 2012 but I was totally lost). One of the huge changes for me in 2013 was getting cable TV back and being able to watch wrestling weekly again for the first time in 3 years. Back in 2010, I went through a huge transition phase in my life and cable TV was one of those things that I just had to let go of for a while. I never stopped being a fan of wrestling, I just had to take off from a lot of the current storylines for that time. But now I'm completely back in the loop, mostly caught up on the past 3 years, and I think even more into it than before I stopped watching (which I never thought was possible). The Royal Rumble match is my favorite match in all of professional wrestling and Wrestlemania is the biggest event of the year so I'm definitely going to watch both. Furthermore, I'm hoping to watch Wrestlemania with my brother derryX and have one of our classic Wrestlemania parties.
  • Go to a live WWE event - This is also something I did at least once, sometimes twice per year throughout my life then stopped when I had to cancel cable TV. Last night, WWE announced a show coming up in March at Madison Square Garden. You better believe I'm going to try to get my hands on some tickets.
  • Watch more Battlestar Galactica - My wife was nice enough to get me the complete series box of Battlestar Galactica from the 70's for my birthday in June and I was dickish enough to watch the first episode and not watch the rest since. I actually really enjoyed what I watched! That's the worst part. I just let it slip through the cracks and here I am 6 months later, a fool with a mostly unwatched Battlestar Galactica box on his shelf. I'm actually excited to catch some more of that at some point this week.
  • Work harder at writing and getting posts on The Fat Lantern blog - In a few days, it will be 2 years since I started The Fat Lantern blog. I am officially declaring myself the self-proclaimed Intercontinental Heavyweight Blogging Champion and I plan on defending my title in 2014. I will do my best to get some serious (and not so serious) writing done to keep bringing the fattest stuff to the blogging universe.
  • Get more FAT Illustrations - This is something that I was doing weekly for quite a while and people seemed to enjoy it, but for the past few months, I haven't been getting submissions. I need to work on rallying more people to participate. But don't worry, you will see one sooner than you think...
  • Reach 300 Likes on Facebook - This one is simple, but extremely difficult. This year, I started the official Fat Lantern Facebook fanpage. I have been using it to interact with all of you as much as possible outside of these blog posts. It's great to post funny pictures, opinions, random thoughts, digital comic book giveaways, lists of hilarious puns, and more. I really like that aspect of The Fat Lantern and I would really like to have more people involved.
  • Get more people to read this blog! - Ultimately, I do this because I like writing about the things I love. However, it is a lot more enjoyable (and easier) when people are reading and engaging. So please tell your friends and help The Fat Lantern grow and get FATTER. I'm going to work at getting more Facebook Likes, more Twitter followers, and most importantly, more Fat Lantern blog readers which is what this is all about!
What are your New Year's resolutions?

Friday, December 27, 2013

2013 Year End Survey - I Need Your Vote!

Alright folks, another year of The Fat Lantern blog has passed. I need you to tell me what your favorite part of it has been! The feedback that you give me will be used to make The Fat Lantern BIGGER BETTER and FATTER in 2014. I will defend my Intercontinental Heavyweight Blogging Championship another year and with your help we can really run wild.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Holiday Indulgence

Have you ever loved something so much that it became a problem? Well, every Christmas, I encounter this. If I could, I would guzzle this stuff by the barrel. Unfortunately, I can not. This magical elixir that has also been the bane of my existence is egg nog.


It has taken me 30 years and I can finally sit down with a nice Christmas cookie (Who am I kidding? A plate of Christmas cookies.) and enjoy a mug of nog. I've loved it my entire life. It's actually part of my Christmas tradition to always make sure I get my hands on some during the holiday season. I'm drinking it right now as I type! Hold please...

...mmmm, yummy. That's good stuff.

The problem arose when I was a kid. I didn't have a limit to how much I would drink. You may be thinking "Well of course. You were a kid. You didn't know any better." Oh I knew better. I absolutely knew going into it that there would be consequences. I just didn't care because I enjoyed it that much. I wanted the nog and I wanted a lot of it. What were those consequences, you may be wondering? Oh I think you know. But just in case you don't, allow me to demonstrate:


But you know what? I'm a bit older, a bit smarter, not much more mature, but I think I have it under control. Even if I didn't, it's the holiday season. Indulging and going a little overboard is what it's all about. Well, actually presents is what it's all about. Indulging is just fun and delicious (and sometimes disgusting). So I hope you enjoy a nice glass of egg nog this holiday season but don't drink until you puke. Just drink until you feel like you're going to puke.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Caption Figures #82

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Calling All Artists - Help Save Christmas Again!

My 2012 Christmas FAT Illustration - Atrociclaus
It has been a while since I've received a FAT Illustration submission. Well, we're days away from Christmas, and we can not celebrate here at The Fat Lantern unless we have some Christmas-themed FAT Illustrations. We had a lot of fun with them last year (Check here and here). We need to repeat that joy this year.

These drawings can be extremely elaborate or they can literally be stick figure sketches that take 30 seconds to draw. I don't care. You do not need to be an artist to submit a drawing. All I ask is that they are fat versions of skinny characters. These can be characters from comic books, video games, TV shows, movies, wrestling, or anything else. The key here is that the illustrations have something to do with Christmas. Perhaps you can draw a character as Santa or a snowman? Maybe sketch someone at the North Pole? I will accept anything that you come up with. Just make them FAT, and make them Christmassy.

So please, send me some drawings! I'll feature them in a special blog post on Christmas Day and put links to your Twitter, Facebook page, website, or anything else you may have. You can submit your illustrations via The Fat Lantern Facebook page, Twitter (@TheFatLantern), or Google +. Share this with your friends and family. Maybe someone you know would like to have their drawing featured here.

Please help celebrate Christmas the right way. The Fat Lantern way!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Good For You, Bruce

From Justice League #25 (2013)
I read the latest issue of Justice League and this is the first panel I saw. I think Bruce makes a great point. First of all, I can eat 4 orders of nachos and 8 hot dogs without breaking a sweat. Second, have you ever eaten food during a movie? It's like not eating at all. I don't know if it's the distraction from the movie or the food they serve at the theater but I could slob it up during a movie and come out being hungrier than ever. Third, these people are rich. They're cheaping out on the junk food and I won't stand for it.

I'm with Bruce on this one. Hot dogs and nachos are not a meal. They're an appetizer at best. If you don't let a kid have pizza, you should go to jail.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Toy Drives: Please Give This Holiday Season

I want to preface this post by saying that it's very difficult to talk about certain things without getting on a high horse. So if this comes across as that, then I apologize, but I also don't care because it's for a good cause.

There are a lot of things going on in the world. I realize that people need help. But at this moment, I want to talk about one thing: toys for kids.

Christmas has and always will be about presents for me. Sure it's about love and Jesus and decorations and lights and blah blah blah. For me, it's presents. It's not just about receiving them, but it's also about giving. There's something special about it either way.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in an environment that allowed me to enjoy a full Christmas every year. Every Christmas since I was born has been a present-fest. The one thing that has not changed in 30 years is me getting action figures for Christmas. I'm almost 30 and it still gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.

Christmas 2012
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that are not as spoiled as I am. Every year, there are kids that don't get to have the experience of unwrapping Christmas presents. That's where toy drives come in.

It's something that you probably hear a lot. Basically, toys are collected and distributed to children in need. All you have to do to participate is take a toy and put it in a box. Where are these boxes? They are all over the place. You just have to find them, and they're not very hard to find. As a matter of fact, my job notified me of multiple drop-off locations for a local toy drive. It won't even cost a lot of money. If you have 5 dollars to spare, buy a toy and donate it! If you really can't find a location near you, then donate as little or as much as you want to Toys for Tots. They will ensure that your money will be used to provide toys for children in need.

This year, I donated money to Toys for Tots and some sweet action figures to my local Manhattan toy drive. I gave a WWE CM Punk action figure, a Marvel Wolverine Logan action figure, and a Star Wars (The Black Series) Darth Vader action figure.


I spend all year buying action figures for myself, talking about them, playing with them, taking pictures of them, using them for Caption Figures, and flaunting them all over the internet. This is my chance to give a little and let less fortunate kids enjoy some cool action figures as much as I do and hopefully more.

I can not describe the happiness that I get from dropping toys into a toy drive bin and knowing that kids who would not have gotten a present this Christmas will now get one because of me. I encourage you and urge you to please, go buy some action figures and drop them off in a toy drive bin. Make some kid's Christmas. My Christmas wish is that at least one person reads this and ends up donating a toy to a child because of it. The more, the merrier.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs 2013 Predictions

Tonight, we will see the unification of the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship (or will we?) at the WWE pay-per-view TLC: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs! However, I have a feeling that the mid-card is going to shine tonight. Here are my TLC predictions.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

I believe that these are two of the most talented guys the WWE has right now. I think this is going to be a fantastic match and Dolph is going to come out on top.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston vs. Damien Sandow (Intercontinental Championship Match)

This one is tough. At first, I was 100% for Big E Langston. Lately, they've been having him commentate and he really needs some work on the mic. I think he's good in the ring, but between him and Sandow, I think Sandow deserves to wear the gold. In terms of the outcome of this match, I think Mark Henry will get involved and cost Big E the Intercontinental Championship.

Winner: Damien Sandow

WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio & Big Show vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel vs. The Real Americans (Fatal 4-Way Match for the Tag Team Championships)

This should be an OK match. I'm hoping that we'll see the Cesaro Swing on Big Show. The problem I have with this is that so many of these tag teams are just a couple of guys thrown together. Ryback and Axel (Rybaxel) is pretty weak. The Real Americans have been awesome as of late but I honestly don't know how long they'll stay as a team with Antonio Cesaro getting so popular. I'm going with Cody and Goldie on this one.

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Goldust

Divas Champion AJ Lee vs. Natalya (Divas Championship Match)

This should be an amazing match. In my eyes, these are the two best women wrestlers in the WWE. I think that Natalya will win the Divas Championship, but not tonight. I think she's going to win it on a bigger stage such as the Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania.

Winner: AJ Lee

CM Punk vs. The Shield (3-on-1 Handicap Match)

I think it's pretty obvious that The Shield is going to have some trouble in this match. I don't know exactly how it will happen, but they will implode during this match and end up losing. I have a feeling that Roman Reigns is going to get fed up with Dean being so overbearing and turn face. Rollins will probably remain heel with Dean.

Winner: CM Punk

Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (3-on-1 Handicap Match)

I'm predicting what I really want to see and that's Daniel Bryan fighting his heart out to beat The Wyatt Family fair and square. Daniel Bryan could not have the fans behind him more right now and I think him overcoming the odds in a match like this is the perfect opportunity to put him over as the ultimate underdog. Everyone keeps underestimating him and he's going to keep showing them that he's the best.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton (Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match for the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships)

The WWE has been telling us over and over that the winner of this match will be the "Champion of Champions" and that the two titles will be unified. This makes me think that they aren't going to do that. That seems to be the trend lately, WWE not giving the fans what they're begging for. However, again, I think this will happen on a grander stage, such as Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania.

My wild idea for this match is that the titles will get swapped. Randy Orton will grab the World Heavyweight Championship and John Cena will grab the WWE Championship. Then, they'll basically be stuck in a position of "OK well, what do we do now?" That will build into a no-stipulation, plain, old-fashioned wrestling match for the unification of the titles.

Winners: Randy Orton (New World Heavyweight Champion) and John Cena (New WWE Champion)

Friday, December 13, 2013

Caption Figures #81

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Best Of Caption Figures #76-80!

Caption Figures is a weekly bit of fun we have where I take pictures of my action figures and ask you (the reader) to come up with your own captions. Thank you to everyone who participated! Here are the best reader captions for Caption Figures #76-80!

Caption Figures #76

Keith Frank: "You wanna pew pew me? I'll counter with BULLET TIME LEAN BACK BIOTCH!"

Caption Figures #77

Nick Francis: Terminator - "Excuse me, excuse me! Over here! Officer, this man has no clothes on.....and I was shot in the face. Can you help us?" Officer - "Where is John Connor?" Terminator - "Damn it!"

Caption Figures #78

Amanda: "Brother's don't shake hands!! Brothers gotta hug!!"

Caption Figures #79
No captions :(

Caption Figures #80

Scott Betts: "I should have a better backup plan for when the Batmobile is in repair ..."

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Little Guido's Little Helper

I consider myself to be pretty lucky in terms of the era of wrestling that I grew up watching. I actually lived through the rise and fall of ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling). Not only did I grow up watching it, but I was lucky enough to attend a few ECW shows. Of course it was a crazy, fun experience every time. But at one show, something incredible happened that I'll never forget.

Little Guido
The year was 2000 and I was at a local ECW show in Middletown, NY. Since it was a local, minor show, you were able to get really close to the wrestlers. I was fortunate enough to actually meet one of my favorite ECW superstars, Little Guido of the F.B.I. (Full Blooded Italians).

Me and my friends were walking around before the show and he was just standing there talking to a couple of guys. We were in awe. We couldn't believe he was right in front of us! So we ran up to him and of course told him what big fans we were. We started talking and out of the blue, he asked "...so where are you guys sitting?" We responded "Front row!" I was holding a cup of soda in my hand and he looked at me and said "OK. When the match starts, I'm going to come up to you, grab your soda, and smash it in his face.", referring to his opponent. I responded "OK!" and immediately ran into the bathroom to fill the cup with water, because little did he know, it was completely empty.

I went to my seat and waited for the show to start. I wasn't convinced that it was actually going to happen. Finally, Little Guido came to the ring and the match started. I had butterflies in my stomach. I was so nervous! The match started and he attacked his opponent and threw him outside of the ring. They came right over to me and BAM. Little Guido grabbed my cup of soda (water) and smashed it on his opponent's head. It splashed everywhere and the crowd went CRAZY.

I couldn't believe it! I was actually involved in a wrestling match. Sure it was insignificant in the grand scheme of wrestling, but it has always been extremely significant to me. If I had to sum up the experience in one sentence, it'd probably be...

THAT WAS AWE-SOME ... THAT WAS AWE-SOME ... THAT WAS AWE-SOME

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Earth to Green Lantern

I've noticed a split between people who enjoy comics about characters that explore other planets and dimensions and characters that fight crime and evil on earth. I don't dislike the idea of characters being out in space, fighting cosmic beings. I'd even say that I prefer it. But I enjoy it as long as at some point, they come down to earth. I feel like the Green Lantern universe needs to get grounded a bit. It's all on too big of a scale to really enjoy and relate to.

Larfleeze #1
I'm not saying everything needs to be 100% real. It's a comic book! I realize that. I like reading about people gaining super powers and flying in space to fight weird aliens. But to a degree. I've been noticing that Green Lantern and company have been flying around in space for a while. And not only that, but they keep exploring new planets/space sectors and meeting new species.

Green Lantern: New Guardians #25
This really started to irk me in Larfleeze #1. I couldn't have been more disappointed in the whole direction that he was taken in this series. He's such a demented, tragic character and by the end of the first issue they had him fighting some cosmic dog. In Green Lantern: New Guardians #25, a title that I have been enjoying since issue #1, we saw the continuing adventures of Kyle Rayner, the White Lantern who everyone thinks is dead. I liked that aspect of the story. But this issue focused on him going to some planet, dealing with yet another new species. In the main Green Lantern title, we keep meeting all of these new alien recruits. I can't keep track!

Enough with the imagination. Let's focus more on what's out there and stop creating planets and aliens. Just for a little bit. Now that there are so many Lantern-related titles (Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: New Guardians, Red Lanterns, and Larfleeze), not to mention all of the Justice League titles, there is just too much going on. It's character hoarding. DC keeps creating and collecting more and more characters. The next thing you know, they're going to need to create another company just to have somewhere to put all of these characters.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

WWE Slammy Awards 2013 Picks

Tomorrow is the WWE Slammy Awards! I've taken all of the nominees into consideration and I'm ready to vote. Here are my Sammy Award picks!

Superstar of the Year
My pick: Daniel Bryan

What can I say? It's his time. He has really stepped up this past year and shown the entire WWE universe what it means to be great. Not only that, but he is more over with the fans than any other wrestler. Fans chant "YES!" during matches that have nothing to do with Daniel Bryan. He deserves this award.

Diva of the Year
My pick: AJ Lee

AJ Lee has something that not many WWE superstars have control of, and that's psychology. She's a female wrestler that doesn't just use her looks to get by. She's a great wrestler and has become a model Divas Champion. She's the total Diva package.

Double-Cross of the Year
My pick: Paul Heyman betrays CM Punk at WWE Money in the Bank.

The feud that followed this was actually pretty emotional and I think the betrayal itself was really crazy. Heyman was just plain scary.

Match of the Year 
My pick: Undertaker vs. CM Punk

I hate to be that fan that goes "In my day...!", but back when Undertaker started, the idea of a guy that looked like CM Punk going up against Undertaker was laughable. However, they made it work. CM Punk was ruthless. Undertaker was unstoppable. The match ended with one of the best Tombstones I've ever seen. It was amazing.

Insult of the Year
My pick: Zeb Colter's insults

They crack me up every time.

"LOL!" Moment of the Year
My pick: Vickie Guerrero is fired as Raw GM

I promised Vickie Guerrero on Twitter that I'd vote for her if she followed me and she did. So she's getting my vote by default. A deal's a deal.

Extreme Moment of the Year
My pick: Punk exacts vengeance on Paul Heyman at Hell in a Cell

I'd say in comparison to the other nominees, this one is the most brutal.

Fan Participation Award
My pick: Yes! Yes! Yes!

YES! YES! YES!

Web Exclusive Awards:

"This is Awesome" Moment of the Year
My pick: Daniel Bryan wins WWE Championship against Randy Orton at Night of Champions

Trending Now (Hashtag of the Year)
My pick: #BelieveInTheShield

Breakout Star of the Year
My pick: Big E Langston

Beard of the Year
My pick: Daniel Bryan

“What a Maneuver!” Award
My pick: Cesaro Swing (Antonio Cesaro)

Faction of the Year
My pick: The Shield

“You Still Got It!” (Best Superstar Return)
My pick: Goldust

Couple of the Year
My pick: Naomi & Jimmy Uso

Tag Team of the Year
My pick: Cody Rhodes & Goldust

Feat of Strength of the Year
My pick: Antonio Cesaro swings The Great Khali

“Say What?!” Quote of the Year
My pick: “Rise above THIS!” – Damien Sandow

Best Dance Moves
My pick: Summer Rae

Favorite Web Show
My pick: "The JBL & Cole Show"

Best Crowd of the Year
My pick: Raw in England (London, Apr. 22) 

Catchphrase of the Year
My pick: “YES! YES! YES!”

Friday, November 29, 2013

Caption Figures #80

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

What Comic Are You Thankful For? (2013)

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Or as I see it, Slobsgiving. I'll tell you straight out, I have already been marathon eating and I just got to Thanksgiving Day. So wish me luck on my eating journey for the rest of the day.

I know it's cliche to talk about things that you're thankful for on Thanksgiving, but who cares when you're talking about comics, right? I want to know what comic book you're most thankful for in 2013.

I want to let it be known that I am extremely thankful for Green Lantern #20, the finale of Geoff Johns' epic, 10-year Green Lantern run. He took the Green Lantern universe and gave it a fresh rebirth. Green Lantern #20 was a giant-sized issue that wrapped everything up and left me sad that Geoff Johns was leaving but extremely satisfied that his run had such an appropriate conclusion.

Not only was it a great comic, but I believe that it set things up for Green Lantern to continue on a really exciting path. I'm really enjoying the current series since Green Lantern #20, written by Robert Venditti.

What comic are you thankful for this year?

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Hallidays

It's that time of year. The Hallidays. No, that wasn't a typo. Sure we all love the holidays, slobbing it up for Thanksgiving which leads into all of the December celebration. However, for the past few years, my brother derryX and I have been celebrating The Hallidays.

Scott Hall, throwin' it up
The history of professional wrestling is vast. So many amazing wrestlers have come and gone. But there is one wrestler who made such an impact (on wrestling and our lives) that we honor him every year for the entire month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This guy had the greatest mic skills, amazing in ring ability, a tremendous physique, more charisma than anyone I have ever seen, and a devastating finishing move, The Razor's Edge. This man is The Bad Guy, The Outsider, The Legend, one of the founding fathers of the nWo, and the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time in my opinion, Scott Hall a.k.a. Razor Ramon.

Every day for the next month, I will be posting pictures, matches, promos, other videos, and thoughts of The Bad Guy on Twitter and Facebook. These posts will oozing machismo. It will be a celebration for all of you who know him and a learning experience for those of you who don't. So help me spread the Halliday cheer. Get as many of your friends and family as possible to Like The Fat Lantern Facebook page and follow The Fat Lantern on Twitter. Let's pay tribute to Razor (@SCOTTHALLNWO on Twitter) with the hashtag #Hallidays and show some love for Big Scott Hall.

I guess the only thing left to say is Happy Hallidays! Oh and one more thing. Say, hello, to The Bad Guy...

Sunday, November 24, 2013

WWE Survivor Series 2013 Predictions

Tonight is one of the longest running WWE pay-per-views (PPV), Survivor Series. The teams have been formed and all hell is about to break loose. Here are my Survivor Series predictions.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

I can see that they're pushing for Miz to be heel pretty hard so I think he's going to take this one.

Winner: The Miz

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston vs. Curtis Axel (Intercontinental Championship Match)

Big E is on fire and Curtis Axel, no matter how hard he tries, just can't get over. Not now. So I think Big E is our IC Champ for the foreseeable future (and I couldn't be happier with that).

Winner: Big E Langston

Cody Rhodes and Goldust, The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) & Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns) and The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro & Jack Swagger)

I don't see much to this match other than good guys vs. bad guys. There's nothing more to it than that. Good guys will win this one.

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Goldust, The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) & Rey Mysterio

Natalya, The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella), The Funkadactyls (Naomi and Cameron) Eva Marie, & JoJo vs. AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Aksana, & Summer Rae

There is no story here and this match is a complete waste of time.

Winners: Who cares/Doesn't matter

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan)

I would rather CM Punk and Daniel Bryan be the top guys right now, but I've enjoyed this angle quite a bit. I think it's going to be a great match and steal the show. Story-wise, the Wyatts have screwed with Punk and Bryan long enough. I think it's time for payback.

Winners: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan

World Heavyweight Champion John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (World Heavyweight Championship Match)

I think John Cena is going to hold the strap at least until Wrestlemania. So I see him coming out on top here. I do like Del Rio being in a top spot, but I don't think he's the guy to hold the title right now.

Winner: John Cena

WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Big Show (WWE Championship Match)

I really don't think Big Show deserves this spot. I think this is a no-brainer and Randy Orton is going to retain the title. I wish they found a better guy to challenge the Champ at one of the biggest PPV's of the year. But here we are. Let's just hope Randy Orton wins and we can move on from this completely dull storyline.

Winner: Randy Orton

Friday, November 22, 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

Caption Figures #78

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Traveling with Comics

Over the years, I have adopted a strict "no traveling with new comics" policy. This means that with the exception of bringing my new comics home, I don't travel with them.

He opts for the train when he doesn't need to. What a dick.
When I want to read comics on the go, I stick to trade paperbacks. I bring them anywhere and everywhere. When it comes to individual comics, I become really anal. I want to keep them in the same exact condition they were in when I purchased them. I take a bus and a train to and from work every day (and it sucks), so there's a lot of moving around and smushing of my book bag. But I need something to keep me entertained because, again, it sucks. I bring trade paperbacks because they're sturdier and less likely to be worth something.

But I don't know why I care. "Worth something." I say that like I'm actually ever going to sell my comics. I do have comics that are signed and/or rare that could be worth something someday. Those are stored with special care. As for the rest of my comics, the reason why I buy them is to read and have cool stuff to show off. I'm not going to sell my stuff. It's my stuff. Without my stuff, I'm just a dude sitting in a room. What else is there in life? Yeah sure, I could travel the world, BUT WHAT WOULD I READ?

Of course, since I pay 3-4 dollars per comic, I want to preserve their condition as much as possible. That's why I always board and bag my comics. But in terms of actually enjoying them, why am I being so strict?

I'm not saying that I've changed my mind and I'm going to smash my comics all over the place. However, I really am working on being less protective of my new comic books. I deny myself the pleasure of reading on the go because of the possibility of a comic getting bent. I'm denying myself comic goodness.

So I have a choice. Who gets bent? My comics...or me?

Friday, November 8, 2013

Caption Figures #77

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Caption Figures #76

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Best Of Caption Figures #71-75!

Caption Figures is a weekly activity here at The Fat Lantern where I take pictures of my action figures and ask you (the reader) to come up with your own captions. Thank you to everyone who participated! Here are the best reader captions for Caption Figures #71-75!

Caption Figures #71

Chris Feeney: Jake - "Wow from this angle you can really tell those buns of steel videos are really working"

Caption Figures #72

Flodo Span: Flash - "Hey, QuickDraw. So you think you're fast, do you?"

Caption Figures #73

Keith Frank: "This is a julienne cut! The box said brunoise! Damnit, Ronco!"

Caption Figures #74
Adam Snape: "AND IIIIIII WIIILL AAAALWAAAAYSSSS LOOOVEE YOOOU!" "Get off me! That's my arm, not a microphone!"

Caption Figures #75

Christopher Williams: Stone Cold - "Kevin, please, come back. We can work this out." Kevin Nash - "I..I can't...*sob*...I can't do this anymore Steven. I have to go." Stone Cold - "Kevin...noooo!"

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Vulkostry.com

From the makers of Ancestry.com comes the newest form of unveiling your horrific past. Discover your family history and start your family tree with Vulkostry.com. Whether you like it or not, you'll be signed up and the truth about your ancestors will be revealed to you.

From Aquaman #24 (2013)
Your entire world will be shattered. Everything you thought was up will now be down. Left will be right. Cats will be dogs.

There is absolutely no downside to researching the history of your ancestors. It's a great idea. Absolutely no harm or horror can come from it. I am not being sarcastic. Not at all. Not one bit. Not. One. Bit.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Predictions

Tonight is the WWE pay-per-view (PPV) Hell in a Cell. There has been a lot of build-up, especially hyping the return of John Cena and the crowning of a new WWE champion. I'm excited to see the outcome. Here are my WWE Hell in a Cell predictions.

Intercontinental Champion Curtis Axel vs. Big E Langston (Intercontinental Championship Match)

Let's see. Big E Langston was in the main event on Smackdown and Curtis Axel wasn't even on the show.

Winner: Big E Langston (New Intercontinental Champion)

Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans

They probably want to keep the momentum going for Los Matadores. Plus, The Real Americans, in my opinion, are not a great tag team. Antonio Cesaro should be on his own. So I think Los Matadores are going to take this one.

Winners: Los Matadores

Divas Champion AJ Lee vs. Brie Bella (Divas Championship Match)

I think Tamina is going to get involved to help AJ but end up costing her the title.

Winner: Brie Bella

Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns vs. The Usos

Cody Rhodes and Goldust are white hot right now. I doubt they'd lose the straps so soon. However, The Usos are a great tag team and also fan favorites. This is a tough one. I'd say Cody and Goldust are going to win this time, but The Usos are due for a title run real soon.

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Goldust

World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

John Cena needs to come back with a bang. Alberto Del Rio is a fighting champion, but he's not as over with the crowd as a World Heavyweight champ should be. I think this is going to be a great match and Cena is going to come out on top.

Winner: John Cena (New World Heavyweight Champion)

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman (Handicap Hell in a Cell Match)

I don't see where else they could go with this angle. They're probably going to have some violent spots with the cell. CM Punk is going to take a lot of damage but win and leave Paul Heyman as a bloody mess in the middle of the ring.

Winner: CM Punk

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton with Shawn Michaels as Special Guest Referee (WWE Championship Hell in a Cell Match)

The Big Show will absolutely get involved. I think he's going to try to help out Daniel Bryan but get a boot to the face by Shawn Michaels. This at first will look like Shawn Michaels is turning on Bryan, until Triple H tries to get involved to help Orton and also gets a Super Kick to the face. Then everyone will see that Shawn Michaels just wants a fair match. They're trying really hard to make us think that Shawn Michaels is going to side with Triple H and turn on Daniel Bryan, which makes me think that it won't happen. But he also won't screw Orton over.

At this point, they've dragged this on long enough. If Daniel Bryan doesn't win fair and square this time, I don't think he'll ever have credibility as the WWE Champion.

Winner: Daniel Bryan (New WWE Champion)

Friday, October 25, 2013

Caption Figures #75

Please comment with a caption for this picture! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.


Thursday, October 24, 2013

2013 New York Comic Con Wrap-up

Wow, what a weekend. It's been almost 2 weeks since I went to Comic Con and I'm still amped up from it. I was there October 11th-13th. This was my first time attending New York Comic Con and I had a blast. Earlier this week, I told the tale of me meeting my life-long idol, Hulk Hogan. Yesterday, I spoke a bit about cosplay. Now, I'd like to share the rest of my experience in a more abbreviated form. So here we go.

The first thing I saw (besides cosplay) when I walked into the Javits Center was a sign advertising wrestlers. That, of course, peaked my interest. I went over to the table and holy shit! Tito Santana, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake! No offense to Tito and "The Hammer", but I had to snap a picture of me holding my Intercontinental Championship belt with Brutus.

Me and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
I had a photo op with Jason David Frank. That was really sweet because I was obsessed with Mighty Morphin Power Rangers as a kid. Everyone loved the Green/White Ranger, including me. He's such a nice guy and extremely appreciative of his fans. Plus, he totally stole the show when he came out. Everyone went nuts. Unfortunately, I didn't get in line for his autograph session and only chose the photo op. I say unfortunately because I found out that the photo ops are super quick. You barely have time to say "Nice to meet you." However, it was still great to finally meet Jason David Frank and it was a bit nostalgic for me.

Me and Jason David Frank
I picked up the DC Comics New York Comic Con exclusive Hal Jordan/Saint Walker action figure 2-pack. I'm probably going to keep these in the box. I'm not big on storing action figures in their original boxes, but since these are small and New York Comic Con exclusives, I'll keep them in there.


I walked around and saw pretty much every vendor. There were a ton of toy vendors. One guy had some beaten up, used action figures for cheap. That's what I like to see. So I bought a Stone Cold Steve Austin figure and an nWo Wolfpac Kevin Nash action figure.

Stunner on Nash! Stunner on Nash! Stunner on Nash!
Hornswoggle!
Kane!
I went to the panel "WWE Studios Presents Halloween Horror". This was awesome because I got to see Kane (Glenn Jacobs) and Hornswoggle (Dylan Postl) in person. They showed clips from the upcoming See No Evil 2 (Kane's movie) and Leprechaun: Origins (Hornswaggle's movie). A couple of tidbits from the Q&A portion: Kane was asked if he misses his old wrestling gimick, Isaac Yankem, and he laughed and said "No, not at all." A little kid asked Kane who he's fighting at this Sunday's WWE Pay-Per-View Hell in a Cell and he responded "Hey, you weren't supposed to know that..." It was a really fun panel overall.

I was really, really tired by the end of the weekend. I learned that you can't just keep going for 3 days straight. You have to stop, drink some water, eat some food, and sit down. I let my excitement get the better of me and I couldn't feel my legs by the end of the weekend. It was, however, totally worth it.

If you go back and read my New York Comic Con preparation blog post, you can see that I accomplished everything I wanted to and more. Next year, I'm going to put some more focus on the comic aspect of the Con. I was a bit distracted this year, you know, meeting The Hulkster and all. I encourage you to check out all of my photos from New York Comic Con (including the celebrities I spotted!) I can't wait for next year!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Cosplay: A New Found Respect

The idea of dressing up in costumes always seemed exciting to me. Halloween is probably my favorite time of year for many reasons, specifically the fun, creative costumes. What I've been learning more and more over the years is that dressing up isn't just for Halloween. Cosplay has become wildly popular for all sorts of occasions.

I always thought cosplay was cool, but to me it was just dressing up, like Halloween. I don't think I truly understood it until I went to this year's New York Comic Con. This was my first Comic Con and I was surprised to see that the cosplayers were superstars. Kids wanted to take pictures with them, adults wanted to take pictures of them (There were two people who wanted take a picture of me and the only thing I was wearing that was out of the ordinary was my WWF Intercontinental Championship belt.) The dedication that people put into their costumes at Comic Con was unbelievable. The costumes ranged from simple to extremely complex. A lot of these costumes weren't exactly available at Party City either. People took a lot of time to make them. I never realized that people actually do paper mache just to make a costume look authentic. I was seriously impressed.

But it's not just about what the costume looks like. Cosplay is also about having a presence. People really commit to the character. If you want to pose for a picture next to someone dressed as The Joker, for example, be prepared for to stand next to The Joker. They aren't going to murder you. That's not what I'm saying. What I mean is they will talk and act like The Joker, mannerisms and all.

I took pictures of my favorite cosplay from this year's New York Comic Con:

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(You can also check them out on Flickr or The Fat Lantern Facebook page.)

So I am here to go on record as saying that I support cosplay. Who knows? Maybe I'll join in on the fun at the next New York Comic Con...