Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Step Away From The Comic Books!

I like to think that I am here not only to learn, but to teach. I have previously taught you the golden rule of new comic book day. Today, I'm going to teach you all some comic book store etiquette. Consider it another rule.

Don't stand in front of the god damn comic book racks in comic shops. Every time I go to pick up comics, people are standing in front of the comic book racks, reading the comic books.
  • To the comic book store employees - I love you guys. However, you should be acting as enforcers to get people away from the merchandise so that other customers can access it. Allowing it to happen prevents people like me from enjoying my comic book shopping experience. Instead of getting excited to pick up my comics, I have to prepare to plow through people to get my hands on an issue.
  • To the comic book store owners - You should be visiting your store(s). Customers are using the merchandise before it's bought. I don't walk into pizzerias and start pounding slices before I pay. Plus, these are items that people buy to collect. Do you really want the reputation of having a store that sells bent, ripped up comics with fingers oils all over them?
  • To the comic book readers - You are the worst. Pick the comics up, go to the counter, pay, and find a den to read them in, you cheap dicks.
There is no harm that can come from stepping away from the comic book rack. If you're going to continue being a sleazy, disgusting thief, stealing the material that's being sold at the comic book store, please move out of the way so I have a clear path to purchase it.


  1. I went to a comic shop in Glasgow I don't usually shop at to try and pick up Uncanny X-force #35, complete the run and therefore bath in nerd joy. There was a guy standing there, casually reading with the only copy. After a couple of minutes...

    ME: Are you going to buy that? I really need it for my collection?
    DOUCHE: No, I don't think so.
    ME: Well what are you doing with it? I kind of like my brand new comics to be, you know... Brand new!
    DOUCHE: I was just seeing if I would be into it.
    ME: With issue 35? It even says FINAL ISSUE on the cover!
    DOUCHE: Why are you being such a dick.
    ME: Oh clearly I am the one being a dick here.

    Finally a member of staff comes over and cowardly whispers to the Douche that the comics are for sale and not reading in store and the Douche storms off. By this point I didn't even want the book but was instead desperate for the Douche still to be outside the shop. Proper rage.

    So yeah lol. I totally agree with your points!!! By not having the backbone to tell scammers to Piss off the store has lost it's chance to have me as a regular customer and I spend thousands on comics every year. You can spot the Douche a mile away. These are the guys that have an hour to waste in town so mill about the comic shop then go home and torrent everything they read!!

  2. Gevian "The Comics Are Too Damn High" DarganJanuary 30, 2013 at 12:03 PM

    Well, consider me a cheap d*ck because for $3.99 and $4.99, I'm previewing the merchandise.

  3. Sciencepie- Thanks for that. That story is exactly what I'm talking about.

    Gevian- I understand that. But, there are thousands of sites that you can check, before comic books are even released, for previews. And you previewing the actual issues makes them worth way less than $3.99 and $4.99 by the time you place it back and I pick it up. I don't trust everyone's comic book handling skills. Unless your shops hand out gloves for people to wear when they read comics in the store.

  4. You don't need to READ the book to decide if you want to buy it. A quick flip through should be able to tell you if it's something you want. I've gone in not sure if I wanted a title, flipped through it quickly (and btw, most stores have places you can go out of the way so you're NOT blocking the new comics) and decide if you want it. You can't.. then you should buy your comics digitally.