Tuesday, April 30, 2013

April 2013: Goin' Out In Style

Wow what a crazy week it's been! This past weekend, I had the pleasure of being the best man at my brother and now sister-in-law's wedding. It was a great time with a lot of food, drinks, and dancing.

What do you care, right? Well! Since this is The Fat Lantern and I am the official slob of all things geeky, I figured I'd report on some of the nerdy stuff that happened over the weekend.
I wore my Green Lantern cufflinks and "old country style" pinky ring.
Stylin' and profilin'.
My brother got me Dre Beats for being best man.
My brother also got me Nikolai and the Sheikie baby for my collection.
They look fantastic.
I gave a best man speech where I listed things that my brother and I have in common. The list included professional wrestling, food, Metallica, the Sheikie Baby, and more! Come watch it (and please forgive the quality)!


Lastly, I want to let you people know that this April has officially been the most popular month of all time for The Fat Lantern (based on pageview count)! I couldn't be happier and I have been having so much fun writing about all things comics, action figures, and more. Please remember that you can follow The Fat Lantern on Twitter and Google+. Not to mention the cool, hip Fat Lantern Facebook page. Give it a Like and tell your friends! I post all sorts of stuff exclusive to Facebook. Plus, I give away my digital comics every now and then.

The Fat Lantern is runnin' wild!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Caption Figures #56

"You guys couldn't order these a little bigger?"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The Best of Caption Figures #51-55!

Caption Figures is a weekly post where I take pictures of my action figures in different positions, add captions, and ask you (the reader) to participate by writing your own captions. Thank you to everyone who participated! I now present to you the very best reader captions for Caption Figures #51-55!

Caption Figures #51

GuyFromEarth616: "Do you even lift bro?"

Caption Figures #52

Anonymous: Stuck in an elevator, everyone farted, no one wants to admit it.

Caption Figures #53

Tom Badguy: Splinter: "You are not leaving until I get 1 cock push up!"

Caption Figures #54

Keith Frank: "I am so excited for my first brickjob as a married man."

Caption Figures #55

Scooby-Doom!: "If you can reach it, you can have it....ooop, missed. Heh heh heh, try again!...whoop, missed again! Heh heh heh, NERD!!!"

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

FAT Illustrations - Captain America's Tummy Hurts

Today's FAT Illustration is another great sketch from Ian Nesbit!

Come on, Cap...you can do it!

Thanks, Ian! Hmm. Another use for his shield. Who knew?

You can check out more from Ian at his Redbubble store.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter, Facebook, or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book/sci-fi/video game character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Fat Lantern On Slice Radio: Chat 1

Last week, I appeared on Daniel Eastman's Slice Radio Podcast, Trash Talk. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of chatting with Mr. Slice Radio himself, Dan Pritchard. We talked about all sorts of fun goodness including comic books, video games, and professional wrestling (Specifically, King Kong Bundy's eating habits.)

Monday, April 22, 2013

The Fit Lantern

Before the race.
Yesterday, I ran in The Melissa Fund SUN RUN for melanoma awareness. It was a 5K race at Riverside Park in Manhattan, New York. This is the third 5K race that I have participated in.

I'm a proud slob who takes pride in eating all of the delicious goodness that this world has to offer. However, I also take pride in maintaining a certain level of physical fitness and health. I use 5K races as motivation to stay fit. Plus, it's a great way to donate to a good cause.

Eating a cookie after the race.
My time for this race was 34:42. It's better than my last race and better than I thought I was going to do. I've never been very athletic and I run for personal health, so I don't care how fast I can run a 5K. However, I do like pushing myself when I can. What I plan to do is run another 5K race later this year and use yesterday's race as motivation to do better. My goal will be to run the next 5K in under 30 minutes.

As of today, I am officially in training. I will not be able to do this without the guidance of my Shidoshi, The Master, Jean-Claude Van Damme. He has been my idol since I was a young man and I will continue to be inspired by him to fight, get stronger, and get faster.

By the way, after the race yesterday, I had an everything bagel with lox and vegetable cream cheese. Then, for dinner, I had some buffalo wings and a gyro platter with extra hot sauce. It was so good. You should have been there.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Caption Figures #55

"Yeah. This is mine now. So...I'm gonna get going."
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Previously In...

Oh comics. They're so great, aren't they? I love when new issues are released and I get to clear my schedule and begin reading.


Hold the phones. What's going on in this comic? How did the last issue leave off again? Who is this person? Let me go grab issues 4 and 7 so I can refresh my memory. I can't remember. I CAN'T REMEMBER. I CAN NOT REMEMBER!

If this has happened to you, give me a "hell yeah".


If you've started reading a comic and instantly felt like Donny in this clip from "The Big Lebowski", give me a "hell yeah".

Thanks.

From New Avengers #1 (2013)
I pay attention when I read, but when I'm reading so many comics within a month, it's hard to mentally retain the complete structure of every story. Plus, sometimes I want to be shown what I need to remember so I don't have to think. Is that too much to ask? Don't I deserve a little break from using my brain? When I read a new comic book, there are times that I just can not recall everything that happened in the previous issue.

Some comics assist the reader by starting with a quick, one paragraph or page recap. I love this. It refreshes my memory on what's happened so far in the story and let's me know which details the upcoming comic book issue will focus on. I've seen these brief recaps in comics published by Marvel, IDW, Dark Horse, and others. However, the one major comic book publisher that has not bothered to include this in their comics is DC Comics.

I'm not sure why DC Comics doesn't have these brief recaps at he beginning of their comics. What I do know is that I wish they did. Don't worry, I'm not complaining for the sake of complaining (I would never do that...). I have a possible solution. If DC Comics doesn't want to print a recap at the beginning of each comic book, I think they should make one available online as a free digital download. It would be released on the day that the comic book issue comes out. For example, if issue #4 was released today, the recap for issues #1-3 would be available online today as well. This would allow DC Comics to keep publishing comics as they do, but also give us that quick recap that the other publishers usually print. Since it would be free and downloadable, everyone would be able to access it. And, it might even encourage people who wouldn't normally download comics to check out some other downloadable content.

What do you think?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

FAT Illustrations - Iron Fist Loves Camping

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Ian Nesbit!


Thanks, Ian! Those marshmallows look delicious. He obviously can't resist!

As you can see, Ian is a talented guy. I encourage you to check out his Redbubble store.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Monday, April 15, 2013

The Fat Lantern Talks Trash With Dan Eastman

You usually come to The Fat Lantern to read all sorts of fun goodness. Well today, you're going to get to hear some fun goodness. I had the pleasure of joining my good friend and hilarious guy Dan Eastman on his Slice Radio podcast "Trash Talk". We discussed The Iron Sheik and Superior Spider-Man.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Caption Figures #54

"Steph, I vow to take your father's business and run it into the ground."
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

FAT Illustrations: Another FAT Spawn

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Jorge Ayau!

I can't even tell where he begins and ends. What a slob!
Thanks, Jorge! You can check out more from Jorge at his 2 blogs here and here, and at his Facebook page!

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Death of Superman...In One Sentence!

The Death of Superman is one of DC Comics most shocking, infamous comic book stories of all time. I really enjoy it as a whole, but I will admit that it is quite a hefty read. The entire story from when Superman dies to when Superman returns spans over 40 comic books (also collected in 3 trade paperbacks: The Death of Superman, World Without a Superman, and The Return of Superman). That's a lot of reading! Who the heck does Superman think he is taking up that many comics for one of his life stories?

Although the writers took many, many comic books to tell this tale, I believe that it can be summed up in a lot less than that. As a matter of fact, I believe that The Death of Superman can be summed up in one sentence. Don't believe me? Watch this!

The Death of Superman:
  • Superman kind of dies.
  • Guardian uses Superman's death to become relevant, and fails.
  • Superman goes away for a very short amount of time.
  • Superman and Doomsday fight to the death (of Doomsday).
  • Lois Lane grieves for Superman and no one gives a shit.
  • When Superman dies, 4 new Supermen emerge and they're all assholes.
  • Superman takes a sabbatical.
  • SUPERMANIA! 
Can you sum up The Death of Superman in one sentence? Give it a shot and comment!

Monday, April 8, 2013

I Snubbed Nikolai Volkoff

Last Thursday, I attended The Roast of the Iron Sheik at Caroline's on Broadway in New York City. As many of you know, The Iron Sheik is a WWE Hall of Famer and one of the greatest professional wrestling legends of all time. Recently, he has become an internet sensation for his rants about anything and everything, mainly wrestlers that he's known over the years.

His roast was fantastic. Roasters included professional wrestlers Jay Lethal and MVP, comedians Mike Lawrence and Dan Soder, and more. They all went up there and hauled insults at him and he came back with his classic Sheik-isms. It was surreal.

Then the opportunity for me to meet him arose. I couldn't believe it. I was ecstatic. I didn't expect to get a chance to meet him and here I was, about to meet The Sheikie Baby himself.

The roast ended and he went directly to a table to sit down and sign autographs. I ran over to the table and was one of the first people there. I noticed that people were taking pictures with him. Holy crap! This was really going to happen! I spotted Nikolai Volkoff, pro-wrestling legend and The Iron Sheik's former tag team partner. I had seen him earlier in the night and almost blinded him with my camera.


The gentleman moderating the picture taking asked me if I wanted a picture with both Nikolai and the Sheik, or just the Sheik. I asked "How much?" He told me $30 for both or $20 for just the Sheik. I know. Twenty bucks. But it's The Iron Sheik! I used to watch him when I was in diapers. Furthermore, I went to a local wrestling event years ago where Bret Hart was charging $50 for just an autograph. And this was when Bret Hart was in WCW. So I had no problem dropping $20 for a picture with the legend.

Apparently, I did have a problem dropping $30. My problem was that I only had $20 in my pocket! What was worse was that I answered "Just the Sheik" with Nikolai Volkoff sitting 12 inches away from me. I was so overcome with excitement that I didn't even acknowledge Nikolai. I wanted the picture with the Sheik so badly that I tossed the $20 I had at the guy moderating it and ran behind the table, not even looking at Nikolai.

I got the picture with the Sheik. Once the adrenaline wore off, it hit me. I snubbed Nikolai Volkoff, one of the biggest wrestling legends of all time. But at least it wasn't for naught..

The Fat Lantern meets The Iron Sheik
For more pictures from The Roast of The Iron Sheik, check out the official Fat Lantern Facebook fanpage! Give me hell yeah!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Caption Figures #53

"I...can't...lift it!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Who Am I?

If there's one thing that I've been sure of over the years, it's that I'm mostly a DC guy. Lately, however, I've been questioning how strong my ties to DC Comics are. I may be experiencing an identity crisis.

At the start of DC Comics New 52 in September, 2011, my comic book subscription was exclusively DC. Since then, I've slowly migrated to other publishers and dropped some DC titles. I now subscribe to multiple Marvel titles (such as New Avengers, Superior Spider-Man, and Guardians of the Galaxy), IDW's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Dark Horse's Conan the Barbarian and Star Wars. I'm also following Saga (Image Comics) in trade paperback.

Is it possible that my gradual increase in non-DC titles is a reflection of the quality of current DC Comics. Has DC been so bad that I'm looking elsewhere for my comic book fix?

If I dig really deep and look inside myself, I don't believe this to be true. I think that a lot of what's out now is so good. Since I'm more interested in reading great comics instead of being faithful to an individual publisher, my interests have branched out. Plus, I have been a fan of Marvel and Dark Horse for years. It would be a task for me to completely neglect them.

Don't you worry. I still have a strong DC Comics subscription with some of my favorite current titles such as Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: New Guardians, The Flash, Aquaman, Justice League, and Justice League of America. I just can't be that DC guy anymore. There is just too much goodness being published by other companies.

Do you want to know what the worst part is? There are so many more amazing comics out there that I'm not currently reading. Don't tell me which ones! I'm weak! I'll go broke!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Do You Like It Soft Or Hard?

You god damn perverts. I'm talking about comic book trade paperbacks (or "trades").

Beautiful!
I think that every collector has their own idiosyncrasies. One of mine is the preference for paperback trades. I always try to get the paperback version of any graphic novel or comic book collection. I hate how a hardcover trade mixed in with paperback trades looks on my shelf. Everything is aligned perfectly in a row, then this big behemoth tome disrupts the sense of order on the shelf.

Yuck!
I also prefer paperback trades because they cost significantly less than hardcovers. When I want to collect a series of story arcs, I usually only care about having the full story. Having a fancy looking book on the shelf doesn't do much for me. Therefore, the cheaper I can get it, the better it is.

Comic book publishers have also collected older, golden and silver age comics in paperback form, as seen with DC Comics' "Showcase Presents" series and Marvel's "Essential Marvel" series. Each volume is anywhere from 450-600 pages and can collect 20 to 30 comics. And they only cost up to 20 bucks! The downside is that the comics are usually not in color. At this point in my life, I'll sacrifice some color if it means getting more comics.

One of my pet peeves about hardcover trades is that they usually come with a dust jacket. What am I supposed to do with that? I take it off while I'm reading and try to find a place where it won't get torn or bent. That is a lot of pressure. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.

There are incentives to buying hardcover trades. They sometimes contain extra material that isn't published in the paperback version such as interviews, sketches, and extra comic book issues. Also, hardcover trades are released weeks/months before the paperback version. I don't know about you, but sometimes, I just can't wait that long. 

No matter how hard I try to maintain a nice and even paperback trade collection, I end up buying hardcover trades. You got me, consumerism! I'm a sucker.

It's not consumerism. I like stuff. I buy stuff so that I can have stuff. Having stuff makes me feel happy. If they make stuff look cool, I'm going to buy the stuff. I'm conscious of this, I accept this, and I love this.

Monday, April 1, 2013

FAT Illustrations - Superman's Slice

Today's FAT Illustration comes from my buddy Daniel Eastman!

It's a bird...It's a plane...It's...a slob!
Thanks, Dan! I'll never be able to picture Superman not having tits now.

Dan's a really funny guy. Check him out on Twitter and Tumblr.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.