Friday, June 28, 2013

Caption Figures #64

"Give me the mic...and your clothes...and your toupée."
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What Tempts You?

Comic shops are filled with all sorts of items including comics (obviously), apparel, toys, books, glassware, and much more. I think that this mélange is what's fun and appealing about hanging out in a comic shop.

When I go to the comic shop to pick up my comics every week, even though I'm there for a specific purpose, I get distracted. Other items tempt me. Some of them tempt me a lot. The obvious are action figures. I have to stop myself from purchasing a figure every single time I go into the comic shop. OK. Fine. Action figures. That's kind of normal. But it doesn't stop there.

Mugs. They come in all sorts of fun shapes, sizes, and colors. But I have a kitchen cabinet filled with mugs! For some reason, I always come out of the comic shop wishing that I bought a mug. Do I really need to drink coffee out of Homer Simpson's head? No. But I want to.

It gets weirder. I always see these superhero banks. What the F am I going to do with Wolverine's upper torso to shove my dimes into? I guess I just answered my own question. Either way, I don't need it. But I always want it!

When you're in the comic shop, which items tempt you the most?

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Pacific Irim Man

There's a movie being released on July 12, 2013 called Pacific Rim. I'm sure you've seen posters and trailers for it over the past couple of weeks. According to the poster I saw, it's a re-make of Iron Man 3. Personally, I think this is a bold move considering the fact that Iron Man 3 was just released on May 3, 2013. But hey, that's Hollywood, I guess.

Monday, June 24, 2013

FAT Illustrations - The Bulk

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Robin Jones!

Thanks, Robin! Looks like The Bulk is going to need to SMASH a few TUMS after this meal, if it ever ends.

I encourage you all to check out more from Robin at!

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter, Facebook, or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book/sci-fi/video game character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Caption Figures #63

"Hey Sheikie Baby, how about we bury the hatchet, OK?
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

I Turn 29 Today

Today is my 29th birthday and holy moly do I have an exciting day planned. I'm seeing Man of Steel in IMAX, eating 2 pounds of gummy candy, going on a comic book shopping spree, and searching Manhattan for retro video games.

You know, throughout your life, you're exposed to all sorts of stuff. Whether it's influenced by someone else, or something you discover on your own, you end up liking what interests you. As you get older, there's a lot of pressure to get rid of the "immature" habits and hobbies. Well I'm living proof that you don't have to. Today, I become a 29 year old man with a comic book obsession, an action figure budget, stacks of old video games that I love to play, and between you and me, I think I'm into Jean Claude Van Damme almost too much. Almost! Who cares, right?

Why should I care about what people think of it? Do those people sign the checks that pay my bills? Plus, I didn't even really start making money until I became an adult. Just when I get to the age where I'm old enough to buy all of the things I wish I had unlimited money to buy, I have to turn my back on them? Guess again!

What I'm basically trying to say here is be yourself. That's all I've ever wanted from you. And you know what? That's all I'll ever want from you...

...says the guy justifying his immature behavior with a blog post on the internet.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Mattel WWE Series 29 Ultimate Warrior Action Figure

Intensity. Electricity. Huge. Ripped. Heavy metal. Legend. These are all words that I would use to describe WWE legend, The Ultimate Warrior. I would use these same words to describe the new WWE Series 29 Ultimate Warrior Action Figure by Mattel.

My love of professional wrestling knows no bounds. Let me tell you, when I was a little kid, no one got me pumped up like The Ultimate Warrior. Seeing the WWE Series 29 Ultimate Warrior action figure brought back so many of those feelings. The anatomical detail and bright colors capture the intensity and electricity of The Ultimate Warrior. All it takes is a glance to recognize Warrior's ripped abs, bulging biceps wrapped in tassels, big hair, neon tights, frilly boots, and signature Warrior face paint. I specifically love the facial expression. He looks like he's screaming, which is what I want from an Ultimate Warrior action figure. Could you imagine if he just had a blank stare or a smile? That wouldn't be very warrior-like.

This Ultimate Warrior action figure stands at 7 inches tall and does not come with accessories; however, if you're like me and have some extra toy championship belts laying around, you can throw one of those on him and make him THE ULTIMATE CHAMPION.

There is remarkable detail throughout this figure. The head and arms are fairly flexible but the legs are a bit more limited in their adjustability. Overall, I'd consider this action figure an adult collector's piece. However, I highly recommend this to any child who knows The Ultimate Warrior because you can pose him in all of his classic finishing moves.

Gorilla press drop!
Running splash!
Ultimate Warrior of Parts Unknown, Welcome to The Fat Lantern Corps!

Interested in owning this action figure? Buy it right now at, the official sponsor of The Fat Lantern action figure reviews! And for being such a loyal reader of The Fat Lantern, use coupon code "FATLANTERN" to get a 5% discount on your entire order!

Monday, June 17, 2013

FAT Illustrations - Man of Meal

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Ian Nesbit!

Thanks, Ian! Looks like that huge opening weekend for his movie went to his head...and his waist!

You can check out more from Ian at his Redbubble store.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter, Facebook, or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book/sci-fi/video game character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Caption Figures #62

"Stepped in gum!!"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: The Fat Lantern and Team-up

The Fat Lantern and are teaming up to bring you the funnest action figure reviews you've ever seen. Action figure reviews are something that I have greatly enjoyed doing, but haven't been able to do as often as I'd like. Thanks to, I will get the chance to discuss more action figures. Which figures will I be reviewing? Well you'll just have to wait and see, won't you? is great for all of your toy and action figure needs. They have very reasonable prices, they're fast, and their customer service is fantastic. Plus, they keep you up to date on all of the new and upcoming goodies on Facebook and Twitter.

Trust me, I'm an adult with an action figure obsession. It takes a lot to justify spending money on the figures I buy, so I need to make sure I purchase them from a good, reputable place. I'm happy I stumbled upon

Stay tuned for the upcoming sponsored Fat Lantern action figure reviews! (I'll try to come up with a more catchy name, I promise.)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Irony of Green Lantern #21

I don't think I was alone in being very anxious to read the first Green lantern comic in the post-Geoff Johns era. I of course am referring to Green Lantern #21, published by DC Comics on June 5, 2013, written by Robert Venditti, and illustrated by Billy Tan.

So what did I think? I think that I enjoyed Green Lantern #21 a great deal! As I read the first few pages of the comic, I was thinking to myself "OK, so far, so good. Venditti is laying some nice groundwork that will be a springboard for the future of Green Lantern." We begin to see the relationship between Hal Jordan and Carol Ferris start to unravel. Hal is named leader of the Green Lantern Corps by the new Guardians of the Universe who are still figuring things out themselves. Kilowog gets hit on the head with a Green Lantern ring. Kyle Rayner even makes an appearance. It was interesting and fun.

Then, Larfleeze shows up, and all heck breaks loose.

From here on out, it's non-stop action. Green and orange are all over the pages. Green Lanterns old and new, mixing it up. I loved it.

Although Larfleeze is synonymous with avarice, when I saw him, I felt the blue light of hope. I think Green lantern #21 is a great starting point for the next chapter of Green Lantern. Don't worry, fellow Lantern fans, all will be well.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Most Badass Female

Saying that I'm a huge fan of Conan the Cimmerian a.k.a. Conan the Barbarian is an understatement. There is something about the character that I have always gravitated toward and I feel like I have a strong connection with it. I've seen Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, hundreds of times. My interest in Conan began with these movies when I was a little kid. They're the best. As I got older, I began to appreciate the character in other forms of media. I really enjoy reading Conan comics, specifically those published by Dark Horse Comics.

Recently, I've been reading the Robert E. Howard Conan books which came before everything and I can not describe how much I have been enjoying them. I just finished reading Queen of the Black Coast. In it, Conan falls in love with a woman named Bêlit. I was familiar with this name prior to reading the story because she has been a main character in the current Dark Horse Comics series Conan the Barbarian. (*spoiler alert* If you do not know the story of Bêlit and want to be surprised in the current Conan series, stop reading now.)

I learned that in the movie Conan the Barbarian, Conan's love interest, Valeria, was based on Bêlit. In Queen of the Black Coast, Bêlit loves Conan so much know what? I can't do it justice. Why don't you read it for yourself:

"My heart is welded to your heart, my soul is part of your soul! Were I still in death and you fighting for life, I would come back from the abyss to aid you..."

And she does. Later in the story, Conan is fighting for his life and is about to get killed. Bêlit comes back from the dead for a moment and saves his life, much like the scene in Conan the Barbarian where Valeria saves Conan's life.

When I read this, one word came to mind: Badass. That is the only word to describe what Bêlit is. She is so true to herself and to Conan that she comes back from the dead to fulfill her promise to him. There are a lot of powerful, inspirational female characters in history. But I think Bêlit is the most badass female out there.

Who do you think deserves that title?

Friday, June 7, 2013

Caption Figures #61

"What should I do once you start this thing?"
Please comment with your own captions! I'll pick my favorite caption and feature it in a "best of" post.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

The Best of Caption Figures #56-60!

Caption Figures is a weekly post where I take pictures of my action figures in different positions, add captions, and ask you (the reader) to participate by writing your own captions. Thank you to everyone who participated! Here are the best reader captions for Caption Figures #56-60!

Caption Figures #56

Chris Feeney: "Hey, which way to the Mad Max auditions?"

Caption Figures #57

Scooby-Doom!: *cheesy announcer voice* What happens when a Ninja Turtle and a Kung Fu Bunny...HAVE to move in together? The Tortoise and The Hare: The New Generation. Coming this fall on Fox.

Caption Figures #58

No captions. :(

Caption Figures #59

Keith Frank: "Excuse me, sir, this is a fine eating establishment. I need you to take your hat off. Laying on the floor is also frowned upon, but it's not as an egregious offense as wearing your hat."

Caption Figures #60

Keith Frank: "The pain I will cause you if you fart right now. Oh, my god, I swear to Christ."

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Let My Comics Go

I've always thought of myself as someone who wants to be a completest. I love collecting and nothing feels better than having a complete set, whether it be comics, action figures, movies, etc.

This becomes a problem when I feel the need to be a completest. I think this applies mostly to comics. I just don't have the money to collect everything. What I'm learning is you can not buy stuff. It's allowed! It's hard to drop a comic book title because I'll feel like my collection is incomplete. Also, if I start reading a comic book series, I always want to get all of the back issues for that series. I can't do that every time because it gets expensive. But that's fine!

Another issue is that there are so many different comic book titles dealing with the same groups of characters nowadays. I can't just read Green Lantern because I have to see what's going on in Green Lantern Corps and what those red bastards are doing in Red Lanterns and all of the crazy action in Green Lantern: New Guardians ahhh! It's very hard to collect one and say no to the other(s). I recently cancelled Red Lanterns. It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of anything that has to do with Lanterns of all colors. I don't think that I'm less of a Lantern fan because I cancelled Red Lanterns. It's OK!

Thankfully, I'm a bit less neurotic when it comes to action figures. I collect anything that looks cool and makes for a great display. I don't care if I have every Hal Jordan figure or every single figure in each action figure series. I would love to have all of the action figures in the world and charge everyone on earth to come and see how awesome my house is. But I'm adult with a 9-5 job. I need to pick and choose. And you know what? I've come to accept that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I want to thank you all for listening. I think we all learned a lot about ourselves today and it's been a pleasure working through my neuroses with you. Take care.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Meeting Brian Wood

A huge benefit of living in New York City is getting the chance to meet great, popular comic book creators. Last week, I had the pleasure of meeting comic book writer Brian Wood at JHU Comic Books (32 E 32nd St. in Manhattan). He was in town to sign his new comic, X-Men #1.

Of the comic book signings I've been to, this was the most pleasant to wait for. I got there about an hour and a half prior to the start of the signing and was just about at the front of the line. The heat and humidity were relentless, but that's not Brian Wood's fault. I blame New York City for that.

Standing in line
As usual, I took advantage of being around other people who share my interests and I had some great discussion about comic books and comic book signings with the guys next to me in line. One thing that came up was certificates of authenticity at comic book signings. When I met Geoff Johns and Jim Lee at Midtown Comics, I was given a certificate for each signature. We were trying to figure out how common this is. It seems like it isn't very common. What about you? Have you ever gotten a certificate of authenticity at a comic book signing?

Brian Wood signing comics
Brian Wood showed up early and the line moved swiftly. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Brian Wood, writer of two of my favorite current comic book titles, Conan the Barbarian and Star Wars. I like X-Men, I really like Star Wars, but I love Conan the Barbarian. Not only the current series, but the character in general. I asked Brian Wood about his experience with the character and he said that he was offered to write Conan the Barbarian so he gave it a shot. I also asked him if he was into Conan as a kid and he told me that he wasn't. However, we both agreed that the Kurt Busiek Conan series was great stuff.

What did I get signed? Take a look!

Conan the Barbarian #7 & 8, X-Men #1, Star Wars #1, Free Comic Book Day Star Wars
Needless to say, it was a treat to meet Brian Wood and talk to him about the current comics he writes that I've been enjoying on a monthly basis. I can't thank him and JHU Comic Books enough for the opportunity!

Brian Wood and I

Monday, June 3, 2013

FAT Illustrations - Buddha Flash

Today's FAT Illustration comes from Andy Mascola!

Thanks, Andy! Looks like The Flash slowed down to enjoy the sunset, and a few dozen burgers.

I encourage you all to head over to Amazon and purchase Andy's BOOK, Unmagnificent Lives.

If you would like to participate in FAT Illustrations, please message me on Twitter, Facebook, or Google +. All you have to do is draw a fat version of any comic book/sci-fi/video game character and send it! I will showcase your art along with your name, Twitter handle, and website (unless you specify otherwise).

FAT Illustrations: Where the readers shine and the comic book characters are slobs.